Nosey

I don’t know what’s up with society that it always seems to be demanding something of people/ From a certain age there are just questions people know they have no business asking, but somehow they can’t get over yourself. If you’re single it’s why aren’t you dating, if you have a boyfriend it’s “is it serious”? and they look at you like you need to give them proof that it’s serious, and they’re wating there to catch the bluff. I’m at the stage where they’re like “how long are you together?” and then they don’t even have to ask. They just say…. “and?”.

We’re together and we’re together. Except for my psycho ex=roommate, who always seems to be implying that we should split up (she’s always like “and with you and nir, everything is… fine?”. I’m always “yeah sure” and I feel she thinks I’m lying or something. But everyone else is like “oh, I know you’re going to get married” with the close ones and “what about the wedding” with the ones I hardly know… people – why are you asking these things. If there was a wedding, I would have told you. If you’re not invited – you don’t want to know about it. And if we “should” be getting married by now but aren’t, that’s a pretty big sore you don’t want to be stepping on, right?

At least I’m not in the baby stage. Poor spaghetti has people all over her telling her, harassing her to get pregnant. They don’t even pretend, like with the wedding, to be just asking. No, they’re full-out pressuring. “you know your fertility isn’t getting any younger”, “not every job will let you have time off” “you’ll be sorry you didn’t do this earlier”, “don’t you want your parents to be able to help you out?”. Sadly, her body is shaped a bit as if she were pregnant – so she just get “congratulations” all the time, too. If she wasn’t a newly-wed nobody would think that, but she is so people just assume. They look for the hump and if it’s not even there, they imagine it in every extra kilo from the holidays.

Anyway, about the wedding thing – the problem with these comments is that they make you wonder. After a long while of just seeing how it goes, I think at the moment I’m pretty sure I love Nir enough to spend the rest of my life with him. Of course, there are things that could be better – like if we’re seeing a movie, and I ask “what did you think the movie was trying to say”, it would be nice to get an answer better than “nothing. Just a movie”. But all in all, things that I could consider weaknesses in him are in some senses also strengths, and other things about him are just great. Wonderful, even.

From the vibes I get from him, I feel he’s feeling the same, but my friends are always “well, did you ever talk about it?”. No, not really. Nor did we talk about not getting married or not being together in the future. We just don’t really talk about these thing at all – we never talk about how in love we are like some couples, except very very rarely. We do say “I love you” and once in a while he’s like “I’m so lucky” and I’ll say “me too”, or the other way around. I find it enough, don’t you?

So if he asked me to marry him now, I think I would. And if it took a year, two years, what would I do? Is there a possibility that he’s not on par with me? I doubt it, but you never know. There is a possibility, though, that marriage would be too early for him at this point. That he should broil in it a bit like I did. After all, if he’d asked me a few months ago, I would have had a problem. But is there a point where it can get too late? If it’s meant to be marriage, I don’t think waiting a year or even three can hurt. But if it’s not… well, a person would want to know. Or not.

I wou;dn’t even be having these thought if it were not for people asking. People just want a story, and their story is stalling. We got stuck on a page longer than they feel comfortable with – too many times they’ve asked me what’s new and nothing has changes. If we’d moved house or job, thay’d be all about that.

So a part of me doesn’t even want to get married. Why – so I can hear them telling me to get preagnant? To send the kids to piano school already? And doesn’t he feel lonely without a brother or sister? Argh. Sometimes life I better without people in it.

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