It’s damn cold here

Time: 00:05

Mood: very calm. I’m at my parent’s house for the weekend. Alone time with books, diareis and laundry.

Boy: Is so very cute. Every time I meet some big-talking self-loving nerd that I could have fallen in love with before I met Nir, I realize again how bad they were for me and how much I like my boy.

Writing About: Tarrifs. Cell phones. nothing interesting. Oh! there was one interesting thing: I did this little investigation about how little people know about their finances and how the banks use this to get more money out of them. It was kind of scary.

Daily philosophical approach / deep thought: Never mind opposites attract: Every good couple is usualyy similar in values and lifestyles, deep down inside of them – even if they didn’t start out that way, they become similar as time goes by – or else they would fall appart in 2 months. I mean, okay, you can stand to see movies you don’t like and live in a house that isn’t you and to spend money on things you never wanted for awhile…. But not all of the above all the time.

Nice thing that happened: Me and the boy are moving in together. We may have even found a place. Also, I met up again with my friend E, also know around here as BurnCycle. It was nice seeing each othr and catching up after almost 6 months.

Hey. It’s me again.

I wanted to change my name to “Tullmore Dew”, after the whiskey, but my brother says it’s crap (the whiskey). What do you think?

Life is nice at the moment. After 4 months with Nir I feel like i’ve always been in a couple. So weird. Like all of the bad years were erased, I can hardly remember what was so bad. But sometimes I do remember, and it really was bad. Not because being single is horrible, necessarily – Nir says he liked it (he just likes “Us” more). I believe him. You can do so many things single that you can’t do in a couple.

But for me it was different. I felt there was something horribly wrong with me that made all of my relationships fail. Now i think that – yo know what?, maybe there’s something weird about me, something different, but it doesn’t have to stop me from being happy. As for now, I am making friends with my weirdness. This is how I was as a child – I knew I was odd, but thought it was in a good way.

Here’s an example: They handed out hats at work this week, as a promotion for something. I put on the hat and didn’t want to take it off. Why is that? I love hats but i don’t know what i like about them since they generally make you look a bit goofy. At least me, because i don’t really have that parisian supermodel chique thing going for me. I look nice in hats, but in a goofy way, not something you want to wear to work.

So why did I keep wearing it for, like, 30 minutes even though everyone was watching? I don’t think i was doing it for attention. I kind of wished people would just think it was normal and let me wear my hat in peace. Maybe i just like that it warms me? Someone told me we loose most of our heat through our heads. It was one of those little things people say that can really change things for you, you know those? I didn’t know, before, that hats made such a difference. This winter I’m wearing hats whenever i’m in the car, and it’s done amazing things for me. I don’t care what the people in the other cars think. They’re not real.

Remeber the accident I had last may? Well, i kind of have a trial for that. Ugh. I hit another car and even though no one was hurt, they called the police. I actually think it’s fair and that i kind of deserve not to drive for a month or 2. I really could have hurt someone, though i really didn’t mean to do anything wrong. You know – I was always a carefull driver but now that i know a tral is coming up i am ten times more careful. It does work that way, i guess.

So i am telling you this because of the lawyer. The insurance comany appointed me a regular lawyer. But my mom knows people in the company and pulled all kind of strings to get me a celebrity lawyer, even though i thought the first lawyer was fine. Why do i need a “good lawyer” anyway? I admitted everything. Aren’t good lawyers good for when you lie? That’s what I told my mom after she got me the celeb, and she even agreed with me.

So I asked the claims department to get me back the first lawyer, the one everyone gets. But the claims department head called me and said “Not that the first lawyer is bad, but I will feel more comfortable if you are represented by SM. Who is your father by the way?” – which led me to understand that the first choice lawyer for regular people is probably crap (i still don’t know *how* exactly. As long as you admit everything, and you lawyer doesn’t start screaming at imaginary babies during you trial, they have pretty much the same chances, don’t they?). So i said – okay, give me the good lawyer. And then there were a few days of confusement where both of them were working on my case. My tiny little traffic-court case.

Last Sunday I had a meeting with said SM, in his gigantic office which included not one, but THREE globe-bar things – you know them? The globe that opens up and has booze in it? I mean, okay, ONE globes-bar-thing is a nice gimick for people who want to yell “I’m rich”, but *more* than one? So I sat there at his desk and he scared the shit out of me, told me that I was a bad driver and not a really good potential witness either. And i started to cry, so immediately he changed his whole demeanor and said that everything is going to be all right….

I told my friend Pea this and he laughed and laughed. He said that he’d met this SM trough work and hee had always barked at him like hell. Seems like the guy had gotten to him, scared him somehow, which is very difficult to do with Pea. He deals with big-ass business people all of the time, and even though he is about half their height, they’re all scared of him. But I guess SM was different, which is why he was so amused to discover his “gentle side” “He sat there and calmed you down? The big SM spends his mornings holding the hands of crying girls and telling them everything is going to be okay?” He was laughing so hard…. Anyway. seems like this SM is a real charmer with enemies galore. I hope all of this means he’s a really good lawyer. I have yet to understand exactly what that means. I can’t understand why he would even spend time on my puny little case, but whatever.

My dad said “See, it will all end well and you will even enjoy some celebrity residue during the process”. That made me feel bad. I don’t think i’m supposed to enjoy this. So I swore not to tell this story to anyone else who might be impressed that i met this guy face to face. Just to you.

There are problems at the moment with my planned trip to the states. Nir didn’t get a visa. We still don’t know why. At first we were just shocked and then the irritation set in – we have to change all of our plans. I won’t be able to make it to Denise’s 30th birthday.

Nir said “I can’t believe I can’t just buy a ticket and go to new york. I feel like i’m not prart of the civilised world”. He’s never been there, either. Imagine seeing New York on Tv all you life and then when you finally decide to see it live, you realize you can’t and maybe never will be able to? It sounds

dumb but i really understand that he’s kind of insulted. We might still do the trip, if our appeal is accepted. Otherwise i might just come myself, for the birthday. Denise will fll apart if I miss it. I hate leaving him behind, but maybe we can do something nice in Europe on the way.

I’m really pissed that they take about 200 dollars for the application even if you’re turned down. Doesn’t that suck? If I were planning it I would make it a differential cost – more expensive for people who do get the visa, and just a small charge for people who are turned down. I’ts annoying enough to be turned down without having to give money to the people who slammed the door in your face.

I’m not even criticizing the american immigration team. I know it’s done the same way all around the world. Don’t even get me started on the fu**ing israeli immigration police. Fu**ing Fu**ers. They arrsted a coleague of mine just because they thought she looked foreign. Took her to the station and evertything. Aren’t they supposed to have a warrant?
Damn, you really can’t trust anyone sometimes.

So many things aren’t right. Why dosn’t the insurance company give out lawyers randonly? Why do the banks cheat people who don’t understand about finances? Someday, i will learn that the labels on food packages were also wrong. Then, i will loose my sanity.