around.

Oh the Universe. 

Went to the new job for a meeting today.  This and that.  Big things happening.  Very exciting times ahead!

Caught a name in a list of brides that stopped my excitement in its tracks.  SERIOUSLY?! I thought.

That name that throws me back to a time when I was a robot, going through my day, reaching goals I had set when I had feelings.  Going through the motions.  Afraid to stop lest the feelings come crashing in and I face what I know I have to eventually.  The tsunami that would envelop my heart and life and the tears I would hope would stop but never quite believed would end.

She’s getting married at Saunders Farm. 

She’s my client.

I’ll be helping her create a lovely day to celebrate the love she’s found in another man.  One who didn’t belong to me, once upon a time, thank goodness.

I felt cold all over.  Then prickly.  Then hot.  Then tingly.  Someone asked me a question.  Hmm?  I hadn’t even heard.  Been far, far away.  I was in November 2007.  A yucky month.  The first of twelve yucky months.  I didn’t feel bad.  Just was remembering.  That was a hard year.  I don’t regret it at all, but it was difficult and I don’t really know who I was that year.  2008.  At the end of that year I met Keith.  And here we are, a lifetime away from that name and that year that was wild with destruction while I tried to outrun the fatigue that came along with mourning my relationship.

But there it is.  She’s now my client.

After an hour or so with this information, I think it’s kind of funny.  I mean… imagine you’ve had an affair with a guy ten years younger than you who has an incredibly stunning redheaded girlfriend.  They break up.  She finds out.  You try to be friends with her for some stupid reason, and she, with her unbelievable smarts, says no thank you, and you move on, find another man, get a ring, book your wedding, and then… that redhead walks in to your meeting and announces she’ll be overseeing the success of your wedding.

Oh, the Universe.  How mysteriously you make a regular rainy Wednesday one for the books.