job status update

well, for some reason it didn’t really sink in that my position was eliminated on monday.

it didn’t sink in until people at work sent me emails and left me voicemails telling me that i was in their thoughts ans prayers; and that they were sorry to hear the news. the silver lining i suppose, is that a lot of people have told me how great i am at what i do and how much the organization will suffer if i decide not to pursue any of the options.

bittersweet, i guess. it’s nice to hear. but it doesn’t feel good when you have put your life into a job you are very passionate about and the company turns around shits on you.

needless to say, i am still very much in the grieving process. monday when i wrote, i was definitely in denial. today, i am probably in the anger phase finally. it took me a while to get there, but here i am.

and i am not even so much angry about the decision, i am angry about the process. i have been pretty disappointed the the communication, the heavily conflicting answers, the selfish lies and unwillingness to be honest to people who’s livelyhoods are on the line.

i have had a few key questions i need answered in order to make an informed decision. and no matter who i ask (my current boss, HR, my would-be boss if i applied for the job, or the mastermind behind this mayhem) i get significantly differing answers.

needless to say, i am praying that i don’t need to apply for the open position. because it’s not even really about the fact that i don’t want to move that direction with my career anymore. it’s about the fact that i don’t know if i could tolerate working for an organization that treats its employees so poorly.

i get that the economy is in tough shape. i get that sometimes there have to be layoffs. i get all that. but there is a dignified way to go about it. and there is a selfish, dirty disgusting game you could play to get the job done too. all of the new jokers at the top of the food chain now clearly chose the latter.
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anyway, on to the interview.

i knocked the fuckin’ interview out of the ballpark. i nailed it. in fact, i left KNOWING i would get to the next phase of the interview process. the first phase, which was wednesday, was with my would-be supervisor and the HR person that supports my would-be department.

there’s one small catch though.

my record.

after wednesday’s interview, i had a debrief in person with the lady i interviewed with over the phone last week. she mentioned the drug tests and criminal background checks that would be done at some point if they were interested.

oh. shit.

so i took the opportunity to be completely honest about my circumstances.

of course the drug tests wouldn’t be a problem, and that’s always been the case. but the record? well, my criminal background pretty much sucks. even though my dwi’s are all misdemeanors.

so the HR lady told me she would check with legal and let me know what their policy was. she couldn’t guarantee me that i would be safe.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

i am going to be stuck working at the god damn company i work at now for the rest of my life (if they rehire me) because of my fucking record.

the good news is that i got a call from the headhunter today saying that they absolutely ADORED me and that they want me to have my next interview on monday morning. this interview will be with the VP of marketing and the VP if HR.

the bad news is that its not because they are going to forgive me of my circumstances.

they basically said that their policy is that background checks are conducted at the time they choose to hire someone, and if something comes up, legal has discretion to make the decision. so i have to wait. but that can be a good thing. since that will give me two more interviews to fall in live with me (the final interview is with the CEO), they may be able to sway the legal council that has discretion over the circumstances.

so keep sending good thoughts my way. it looks promising.

but many of you remember i almost couldn’t find a place to live because of my record, why should finding a job be any easier? in fact, i would think it would be harder.

so i am not getting my hopes up.