ready to elope already

just checkin’ in. lots has been going on.

we just had madaya here for a little over 3 weeks. what a crazy and awesome time.

we had isaiah for considerably longer than we normally do, too.

during my week off from work, we had both kids. so it was seven days straight of nonstop craziness. and lots and lots of fun.

the other weeks, madaya went to day camp while i was at work and isaiah went to his normal summer program.

i miss madaya already, but i gotta say, having a kid-free house is quite nice. i got to sleep in as late as i wanted to for the first time in over a month. pure perfection.

plus, having two kids all the time gets expensive. i need a break!

we spent time at the cabin, went to see Ice Age in 3D, went to about 3 different parks/playgrounds in the area, went to an awesome kids bookstore that has wild animals running around all over the floor, went swimming at the pool, did arts and crafts, and all kinds of other stuff. oh and we played board games. lots, and lots of boardgames.

and for once, neither kid asked to play the wii the WHOLE time. it was almost like they forgot it was there.

the other day, we asked isaiah how to spell "me." he said "m-i-i." then we asked him how to spell "we." he said "w-i-i."

i have to admit, it made me laugh a little. but this just goes to show the impact technology has on these kids.

i am pretty sure madaya had a good time. i know isaiah loved his time with madaya. he will be sad when he comes back tomorrow and she is not here anymore.

there were quite a few times when madaya got quite sassy. i started to get pretty tired of it. it’s tough when kids come from such a different environment than the one you allow in your home. it took us damn near the whole time to get her bed time back on schedule and to get her to realize that talking back and bossing people around is not an option here. she is just so used to doing all that stuff when she is with her dad that we had to completely retrain her. we run into the same problem with isaiah, too.

at one point, madaya had such a rough night because she was so tired that she announced she wanted to call her dad to come and pick her up "IMMEDIATELY!"

sad thing was, even if she did call her dad, there is no way he would stop what he was going to drive 4 hours round trip to come get her. but after madaya had a chance to cool down, and she and i had a little chat she appologized and told me that she wished she could live here.

then we both started crying. then as she dried my tear off my cheek, she told me that we "both have to be big girls. we can’t cry anymore!" it was so sweet.

i wish she could come and live here. even in spite of all the chaos, i would love to have her here.
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the engagement is going well so far. it’s like we have been in a little honeymoon phase. no arguments or anything.

we are aiming for october 16, 2010. we both agreed a fall wedding would be nice, hence october. september has too many family birthdays and whatnot so we ruled that out, and november seems too late in the event we want to do an outdoor ceremony or something. i eventually found out that october 16 is the day that my grandparents were married waaaaay back in the day. the grandparents that are dead, that is. not the ones that are still alive. and i thought it would be awesome to honor their memory by having it on their anniversary since they are the two people i would want at my wedding more than anyone in the world.

i have been scoping out reception sites and much to my surprise, many are already booked for that date even though its over a year away!!!

the whole engagement thing has been tougher than i expected, though.

the first reason is that chewie’s father is a jackass. initially, chewie was only going to call and tell his mom the news about our engagement. but i told him it was pretty important so i thought he should be the one to call his dad and tell him, rather than letting his mom do it.

so he took my advice and called his dad to tell him the good news right after he called his mom. the first words out of his dad’s mouth were "are you stupid???"

i know because i could hear him through the phone as i was sitting right next to chewie. it broke my heart. and chewie’s.

the good news is that chewie’s dad’s lack of support for our engagement has absolutely nothing to do with me and my relationship with chewie, isaiah, or the family. chewie’s dad’s issue is that chewie is not financially ready for a marriage.

he thinks chewie should own a home and have a career before he gets married. so…i guess chewie is not supposed to get married until he is 45?

and to this day, even though we have been engaged for a few weeks now, his dad has still not said anything even remotely similar to "congratulations." he continues to be a total jackass.

chewie took him aside at one point and tried to have a heart to heart with him.

the basic message was "the last year has been difficult for jessie and i financially with my not getting steady work. but that is one of the reasons i want to marry her. we have made it through an extremely difficult situation and not only are we maintaining and keeping our heads above water, we are making progress! being with jessie has given me the drive to get my finances in order and to pay off some of my bills to begin to improve my credit so we can look towards buying a home in the future. not only do we live in a nice townhouse in a safe neighborhood and own nice things, we are making progress financially as a couple, inspite of our difficult financial circumstances. if that doesn’t prove something to you, i don’t know what will!"

chewie also reminded his dad that i make good money and that i have been able to provide financially when he hasn’t been able to. he then announced to his dad how much money i make a year (which is more than both his mom or his dad make). i was furious when i found out he told his dad something so personal. for some reason, income has always been something i have never talked about with ANYBODY. chewie didn’t even know for a long time. but i appreciated the fact that chewie was trying to get his dad to understand that we are at least smart enough to consider our financially situation when making such a serious decision and that we are just not the complete morons he seems to think we are.

chewie also took the liberty to remind his dad that when his dad and mom got married, they were pregnant with chewie and his mom was 18 and his dad was 19 and NEITHER ONE OF THEM had a job.

hmmm…it seems his dad is a bit of a hypocrite. and i feel horrible for chewie. he was pretty broken hearted when his dad reacted the way he did. all i can say is…"fuck him." he doesn’t even have to come to the wedding for all i care.

the other thing i noticed through this whole "engagement" situation is that there are a few other people that are having a hard time being happy for us because of the misery they have created in their own lives. my sister is one of those people.

the second thing she said after i told her the good news was that i couldn’t have a baby before she did. she is the older sibling so in her mind, she was supposed to get married first, and she is supposed to have kids first. she has said she doesn’t want to help with anything because it’s "my wedding." she is pretty bitter and hurt. i can understand why it might be tough for her that i am getting married first. but for god’s sake, she is 28, not 42. she still has plenty of time to build a family if she would stop following men around that don’t give a shit about her. i just never imagined that there would be people in our life that weren’t genuinely happy for us. i feel as though i have had to refrain from talking about the wedding around certain people like my sister.

again, the good news is that the majority of people are really happy for us and my family loves chewie and chewie’s family loves me. no one is taking issue with either of our choices in a life-long mate. that’s the great news.

now if everyone could just get over themselves long enough to be happy for us and provide us support during this exciting and scary time, that would be fan-fucking-tastic.