Christmas Morning 2009

It’s Christmas Morning  and I am working.  I swallowed a dumbass pill and picked up and extra shift, not realizing that I sucked myself right into a double.  Yeah, midnights, dayturn double.  How stupid.  But it has been a rather steady midnight beginning by some stupid people stealing a cell phone and getting charged with robbery.  I guess the family that steals together, stays together.  I don’t understand.

Anyhow, I did as I have done for the past 30 some years and spent last evening with my mother and her husband.  Last year he fell and broke his hip, so i spent last year teaching her to drive his truck.  This year I arrive to find her outside picking up a package from her front porch and her saying to me, he didn’t want me to call you.  I told her I would leave if she wished and she said no, come on in.  Well apparently he has been diagnosed with end stage cancer through out his abdomen.  She was telling me his symptoms and he is following alot in the path that my father did.  They have already signed on with Hospice and they are treating him at home for now.  He did not eat with us and slept thru most of the evening.

My mom has never been ill in any way for any extended time and she has no sympathy for anyone else who suffers.  She comes off as short tempered and really just rude.  He spilled a cup of water in his lap and she started scolding him and griping at him.  I told her that she should try a cup with a lid and I left to go and get a couple from my house.  I just don’t understand her and her lack of compassion for people.  She was never mistreated or abused by anyone and all she thinks about is money.  They are both so consumed by money and being negative against everyone.

I know that she is my mother and I do love her but I struggle to be around her for much time and don’t know how much I can take.  I do try to be supportive and I try to do as much for her as I can, but she get on my nerves.  She holds a grudge forever and gets angry about things that happened a lifetime ago.  Life is to short to be angry and bitter all the time.

As for today, after I leave here at 2, I am going home to grab a quick nap and then we will have Christmas with my stepmother and my brother and children.  I just keep thinking that it will just not be the same without Dad being there.  I always enjoyed watching him with his grandchildren and how they all responded to him.  We have not been all together since his death except for the funeral.  My brother and I talk every few days and I talk to my step mother about once a week.

So that’s about it for now.  I will call a couple of old friends later today and while I work my dayturn, I will wrap the Christmas gifts that I have for the kids.  I hate to wrap, but I failed to get any gift bags, so I must torture myself wrapping.  Hope no one expects Martha Stewart perfection, cause it ain’t gonna happen.  I am going to try and stay positive for today and keep a happy face.  I am thankful that the Lord has seen me thru this year and could not imagine life without my faith in God.  So as I wish you all a Merry Christmas, I also want to wish Jesus a happy birthday.  I have a friend who makes a cake with her kids every year for Jesus’ birthday.  God bless and Merry Christmas!