Exhaustion and Deadlines
I hate that term, deadline. It’s so foreboding. Think about it, dead line. It’s got such this emphasis on death. I don’t really like the idea that somehow if I don’t finish on time I’ll be shot or something. It’s the bane of my existence.
Recently I’m finding I’ve got a lot of deadlines coming up. I just finished Krystal’s longies. I still have to knit stuff for my Halloween swap partner. That package needs to go out in ten days. I’ve got my Recession Swap partner to pack up a box for. Thankfully I’m just doing dish cloths for the first and for both just need to pack in some yarn and some other goodies. On top of that, I made the brilliant decision to make a whole family’s worth of socks for the baby’s birth. Add to that list the need to make longies, a sweater, hat, and socks for the day the baby is born. I’m glad those are being knit up in worsted weight. I’ll be able to finish them that much quicker that way. I’m somehow supposed to add to all of this a pair of socks for Caelan, gloves for Oz, and sewing two Waldorf dolls for the kids so they can have new babies when the new baby is born. I have a feeling Christmas is going to be pretty scarce this year. I just don’t have the time or money to do a lot this year. I’m feeling totally over-committed.
Of course, on this, I have no one to blame but myself. I was the one who brilliantly decided to do socks for the whole family. I should have started that sooner. I decided to do these swaps, and crazy enough, I did one for Thanksgiving too! I must be insane! I’ve got performances scheduled right up to my due date. I think I must have been out of my mind! I’m far to exhausted to do all of this! I just can’t keep up, and yet I keep signing up to add things to my list of deadlines, knowing full well I don’t do well under pressure.
It always starts out so simply. I justify it with all this time I have to get everything done. The baby sock took me all of a day, with all the problems it had, so the second should be two. Beekee’s should take maybe three days, and five for Corde’s. Mine and Oz’s socks might take a week for each pair. That means three and a half weeks should have me a whole family of socks! That’s nothing, right? And dish cloths will be a day each at most, if not just a couple hours. The sweater should whip up in a day or two, same with the pair of socks and longies. The hat should take a couple hours at most. Planning for performances doesn’t take that long at all. I should be fine, right?
Well, I guess I forgot to take into account how exhausting the last trimester often is. I constantly feel like I’m falling asleep. I don’t much want to do anything. I don’t get near as many knitting hours in. The house needs cleaning and the kids need more attention than usual since Daddy’s home on R&R and that’s not going well. It’s meant I haven’t had near as much time as I thought I would. It seems like I have more to do in eight weeks than can possibly be accomplished in eight weeks! I’m torn between wanting the baby to be early so I can get on with my life and the baby coming late so I can get everything done!
One would think this would teach me a lesson about setting deadlines. It’s only logical that I don’t do it anymore, but, of course, that would be too logical for me. Instead, I continue to drive myself insane trying to get everything done in time. At least the rest of the family is patient with me, for now.
However, there are possible solutions. The family socks can always be a Christmas present as I can’t find a pattern to make them newborn size and just 3-6 months. They’ll be big on the baby’s little feet anyways. The swaps should be easy to put together, and pretty fun! Oz’s gloves can be saved for a Christmas present too. The dolls can be machine sewn instead of hand sewn. I have options. Now I just need to get off my butt and do it already!
~*~Rave~*~