Planning the Next Step

There are so many things I want to do in this life.  In the end, many of them are very positive, directed towards a better life, a happier future, and a healthier environment.  I’m an activist, so I guess that’s not surprising.  When I was younger, I was happy to let people tell me what to think.  If I was told to that I had no right to complain about something, I didn’t.  If I thought something was unfair, I was told to deal with it or move on.  I had no right to change anything.  Now I’ve come to learn that speaking my mind is the best thing I could possibly do for myself, my children, and the people I love.  The best thing I can do in my life is to strive to make a difference, even if it’s just in one mind.  No, I don’t expect to change the world, but if I can change even one perspective, get just one person to think outside of the way they are taught and trained to think their entire life, then I’ve done my job.

In truth, I have done that.  When I met Oz he had no idea that babies weren’t all born in hospitals.  He thought a home birth was insane.  He didn’t believe homeschooling could be positive.  Circumcisions were just done because that’s what people do to their boys.  It’s cleaner, neater, and they won’t remember, it so why not?  Organic food wasn’t actually any better and a bad diet didn’t matter if your metabolism was fast enough to handle it.  What was the sense in whole foods?  They cost more and did less.  Why did it all matter?  Cloth diapering?  Eww…  Doesn’t that mean you need to wash all those stinky diapers?  They’re going to be sitting around the house, smelling it up!

What can I say?  I rocked his little world.  Much of what he had been trained by society to believe, he’s come to realize isn’t as great as he thought it was.  I put my foot down on circumcision showing him data that proved it was not medically necessary and that there is no proof that circumcision has any medical benefits.  My son wasn’t circumcised and neither would any other boy I had, regardless of what the father thought.  I was passionate about not forcing my child to go through any kind of body modification for the sake of cosmetic appearance.  While at first he didn’t agree, but would let me make the decision should the time ever come, he’s now come to see that much of why he believed circumcision was better was societal conditioning.  Because everyone tells him boys should be circumcised, he’d never stopped to think why, what benefits it has, or to research the options.  He’s now on my side of that fence.  The same came with homeschooling.  I explained to him how homeschooling happens with my children.  I talked to him about the difference of memorizing facts in a large group setting versus actually comprehending the material at your own pace.  We had a lot of discussions about it, and now he thinks homeschooling really does make more sense.  While he’s not 100% behind me on organic and healthy foods, he has agreed that they do generally taste better, fill him up more, and in general give him more energy.  He’s still ready to jump back into the junk food any chance he gets, but he’s opening up to having more organic and whole foods around the house.  It’s not a total conversion, nor do I think it ever will be, but he’s willing to give it a chance and that’s what matters.  Cloth diapers, he’s still not sure about those, but financially they’re a better decision.  They’ll save us a lot of money and they’re better for the environment.  It’s just one small way we can do two good things at once.  He’s still not sure on home births, but he agrees that I’m going to be the one in labor, so I need to be comfortable.  We’ve agreed on the birth center as a compromise, but at least it’s something.  I’m sure once he realizes that it’s not so big and scary, he’ll be more okay with it.

Undoubtedly, if I were to consider my life a success by getting one person to change their perspective and think for themselves, my life is already a success.  Oz isn’t the only person I’ve opened up to new thoughts and new ideas, so I’m doing pretty well for my life.  I’m raising two kids to think for themselves and leading through example in allowing them to question the world around them.

So where do I go from here?  If my life is already such a success, why worry?  I don’t need to do more than I’m already doing.  I don’t need to change the whole world, after all.  Haven’t I already done enough?  Can’t I just continue on in this same simplistic vein?

The truth is, I’m not happy.  I know, I know.  I must be so greedy in my life to want more than two beautiful children and a man who loves me.  I’ve got a roof over my head and a (currently) stable income, so why complain?  On top of that, I’ll always have dance.  Doesn’t that make me happy?

The answer is, no.  I want more than that.  I want to know that I’m doing something positive with my life.  Yes, I’m bringing happiness to other people through the art of belly dance.  I’m helping women find means to empower themselves.  I’m enjoying the opportunity to watch my children grow.  I’ve got a boyfriend that loves me and a baby on the way, but I want more.  I want to know that I’m continue to encourage a positive trend.  I want to keep doing my part to change the world, one little step at a time.

The next step?  I’m thinking about growing my own garden.  I know it doesn’t sound like much.  What am I doing?  Trying to heal the world through creating plants to purify the CO2 pollution from cars?  No, that’s not it at all, though it’s not a half bad idea.  Plants do make for healthier air, you know!  Plants also enrich the lives of those around them.  Caring for plants can be therapy.  Surrounding yourself with healthy, growing plants encourages health and growth in your life.  Having a vegetable garden provides healthy, home-grown food for your family.  Gardens can create a sense of peace, quiet, and zen.  My children can learn from a garden in seeing where their food comes from.  They can see how energy passes from the sun into the plant and on to the food we eat.  It inspires lessons on how the sun and the earth provide sustinance for all life.  There is so much good that can come from a simple garden.  It’s even a financially sound decision as I’ll have less grocery expenses.  Food is virtually free if you grow it yourself!

Growing my food also comes with greater impact on the world around me.  The food I grow will be organic.  I won’t have to worry about encouraging farms that pollute the world with chemical pesticides.  The food won’t be piled on a truck and shipped half

way across the country just to end up in some large distributions facility.  There won’t be the gas used to deliver it to the grocery store.  I won’t even need to spend the gas to get it and bring it to my own home!  You can’t get much more locally grown than your own back yard!  True, my garden won’t provide me with everything I need.  Without some serious land, I won’t be able to grow every fruit and vegetable I could want.  I definitely won’t be growing milk on plants any time soon!  I’d be afraid if someone engineers a beef tree.  I’m still going to have some need for outside resources, but I’m doing my part to make sure I waste less fuel and provide less of a burden on the earth.  It’s just one small step towards something healthier.

Another small step I intend to make this year comes with actually making things.  I’ve put a lot of thought into what else I can do to remove the burden of mass production and transportation of goods.  Since I’m a knitter, some of those answers seem obvious.  Instead of buying socks for the family this year, I’m going to be making socks.  Yes, there are still expenses in making the yarn getting it to my home, but at least I know one large-scale factory process has been removed.  Hand knits are generally higher quality than machine knits, and last a lot longer.  I go through factory bought socks like water between wearing them out and losing them.  However, I take much better care of my hand-knits.  Sweaters, hats, and gloves can all be knit instead of buying them at the store.  I can knit them out of pure wools, natural cottons, or other nice fibers that are higher quality, warmer, and nicer than the generic acrylic yarn many things are made out of.  I can make things that will last in my family for years.  I’ve also decided that after the baby’s born, I’m going to make some of my own clothes.  I was thinking about the lovely, fun bohemian style I love.  Unfortunately, that’s not trendy right now.  I have the option of paying designers out the nose so that I can wear the style I like, or I can make it myself.  I’ve decided to take the challenge to make it myself and start transferring my old clothes to the donations bin.  I’m tired of having a million styles for myself.  I want practical, functional, fun, and most importantly, comfortable.  I want things that I truly love, not things that I sometimes love.  While I doubt I’d go over to making clothes for my kids (let’s face it, they grow too fast for that), I think I could enjoy making my own garments.  If they’re hand made, they’re more likely to end up in the repair bin instead of the trash when they’re damaged.  They’re also more likely to be something I truly adore.

So my winter is going to be filled with crafting and preparing to start planting in the spring.  I know some people will think I’m insane to be thinking about gardening and making my own clothes with a newborn baby.  Maybe they’re right.  Maybe I am just a little insane.  Even so, at least I know I’ll be looking forward to making a life that’s one step closer to being better for the world around me.  Even if I don’t get to it until well after the baby’s born, at least I’ll have an idea to strive towards.

~*~Raven Night~*~