And the show went on…

Yesterday was crazy.  I got to my class early so I could start on time in hopes of leaving in time.  Well, it turns out they were having National Night Out and that meant they had to close the roads at 2, which is just when my class ends.  They may or may not have warned us, so I had to plan to be out of there at 2 on the nose.  Doesn’t it figure, everyone would choose just that day to be running late.  It turned out to be just the girls in the troupe, so I didn’t exactly make things hard on anyone.  We decided to bail early and all head over to my house so we wouldn’t have to risk how things would go with traffic.

So we all were supposed to meet at my house around 2:30-3.  I would pick up Annie on my way to my house and we’d all be good.  Well, doesn’t it figure, that’s not how it worked at all…

I called Annie and she wasn’t ready to go.  She said she wouldn’t be ready for at least a half hour, so I decided to take the kids through the drivethrough at Wendy’s to kill some time and feed us all.  It wasn’t anything expensive.  I ordered right off the dollar menu, so that helped.  No kids meals means no excess toys, so that worked out too.  The kids ate at a leasurely pace while I tried to wolf down my food so I could be ready to go get Annie.  Sharon was there before I was, so she watched the kids while I made my run.

After I got Annie and came back, Krystal was already there, parked in my driveway so I parked on the street.  Virginia pulled up right after we did.  We all went in the house.  It was about 3, but no Gina.  She was the one that set our schedule.  You’d think she, of all people, would hold to it, especially after getting upset at Krystal and I when we were running really late the day of the fire.  I almost didn’t go to rehearsal at all, but I felt really bad about not going.  However, we ended up getting to Krystal’s house an hour late.  Gina grew impatient, and left, which is completely understandable.  However, now it was her turn to hold up the wagon train.  In this case, it wasn’t just a rehearsal.  This was an actual show.  I was starting to get antsy.

Around 3:30, she rolls in.  Her costume isn’t done and she’s rapidly trying to finish it before we have to go to the show.  I knew she still had some stuff to do on it, but I was really starting to worry she wouldn’t be ready.  If it were me, I’d be doing it in the car on the way down there!  About 4, the time we agreed to leave, we still hadn’t even gone through the choreography with everyone once.  I was majorly starting to stress out.  For the most part, it wasn’t so bad.  Everyone was finishing up make-up and the like so we’d be ready to go.  It was 4:30 before we did a quick run-through and parted ways.  Gina went to Walmart.  Virginia went to get gas, and Krystal, Sharon and I brought up the rear.  We met Virginia at the shoppette.  Then we picked up Gina at Walmart, who was just getting out when we got there.  Then she had to stop for gas.  Of course, that held us up even more.  However, by 5:30, we were on the road and headed south for the show.  It was a very disorganized start and much later than our original idea of when we were going to leave, but at least it was about the time I wanted to head out in the first place.

We were halfway there when we realized Krystal needed to get gas.  Our happy little party split up again as Virginia went on ahead and Gina realized she lost us.  It all worked out, though, because we all got there, and in plenty of time too.  I always hate these things because I never know how early to show up!  I was all stressed out about Gina holding us up, but I tried not to show it too much because I know it was just pre-show stress and I wasn’t really upset with her.  On any other day it wouldn’t have mattered, but I was hoping to make a good impression and so worried I would fail.

So we got there.  We talked to some of the dancers, but mostly talked among ourselves.  We were supposed to go on fifth, but one of the dancers had an accident.  I guess she broke her skull or something?  Anyhow, she couldn’t be at the show and we found out last minute that we were bumped up to imediately following the other tribal troupe.  I think I might have barked a little too harshly at them to just go and get into position, but everyone was asking questions and fluttering about when we really needed to be moving so we could start as soon as they were ready for us.  I kept my cool in the face of unexpectedness and we went on.

The performance went alright.  There were a few flaws.  I only really remember a couple.  I’m afraid my Turkish drop was sloppy.  I don’t remember anything I did aside from that.  However, there wasn’t much other floorwork and as far as I know, there wasn’t anyone else who did a Turkish Drop, so I think it was impressive on that fact alone.  I don’t even know if anyone else there can do one.  However, we got off stage and everyone seemed to love us.  Somewhere in my head I remember Krystal saying "Hold, hold, hold, HOLD!" during that last point when we we closed out the song and were in our final pose, just because she did it the other night, but I don’t think she did it during the show.  At least I hope she didn’t!  We traveled out and it was over.  It was all too soon.  I just can’t wait to see the video so I can see where I went wrong and how the choreography looked from an outside point of view.

It was almost a relief not having Kim and Sarah there.  I didn’t feel the pressure to avoid them or to talk to people they hadn’t been talking to.  However, the girl Kim hated so much from earlier shows was there.  She goes by Zira.  Yeah, she seems to have a little bit of an attitude, but in reality, she’s just got a strong sense of what she likes and doesn’t like.  She never seemed rude or bitchy to me.  However, she did say she thought Kim’s performance a while back was awful.  I refuse to pass judgment on that.  Even so, Zira has ever right to say how she feels.  Besides, she’s only 19.  In a way, she almost deserves to have an attitude.  She’s a good dancer and young.  If she gets the attitude now then she still has a chance to outgrow it.  Even so, I didn’t see the attitude from her.  She seemed like nothing but nice to me, maybe she comes on a little strong at first, but certainly not like she’s some kind of bitch!

When I got home I decided to look into Kim’s schedule on MySpace, just out of curiosity.  I wanted to see if something else came up and that’s why she dropped the show.  She was dancing the night before at a show, so perhaps that’s why she dropped it.  Maybe she couldn’t afford two nights down to Austin in a row.  However, she backed out awful late for that.  How

ever, I also noticed that she’s performing at the market fair again on the 18th.  I was never told about it.  It looks like these ladies are deliberately trying to exclude me.  Sarah and Kim both deleted me off their MySpace accounts (again in Kim’s case) and now this.  You know what?  I don’t care!  I may just find an excuse to go out the Belton Market.  They have a farmer’s market there, so maybe I’ll just go shopping.  If I see them, then it’ll be good for them to realize they’ve been caught in the act.  If I don’t, well, no skin off my nose.  I’m not going to say anything mean and hurtful.  At that, I’ll just tell them, if I talk to them at all, that I’m glad they’re doing it.  I won’t even mention that I’m sorry I’m not a part of it.  In truth, I’m not.  I don’t need their brand of drama in my life.  However, if I conveniently show up at one of their public shows, possibly on more than one occasion, then maybe they’ll take into consideration that they shouldn’t leave me out or they will get caught in the act.

I’ve even decided to go one step further than that.  I’m going to invite them to my events.  If I happen to find a venue that could use more dancers than just my troupe, I’ll invite them.  I’ll be surprised if they actually show up, but I’ll treat them to the same courtesy that everyone else will be treated with.  They’re human beings and deserve respect.  However, I’m not going to be rude and deliberately exclude them because they deliberately excluded me.  I’m going to be the better person in all of this.

Last night made me realize that I don’t need to be walked on or treated badly.  I don’t need to live my life in the shadow of the hurtful things that other people have done.  They can only hurt me if I let them.  In reality, the solution is to just stop letting them.  That doesn’t mean nosing into their business and trying to get in their way.  That means I just need to stop caring when they do something hurtful, spiteful, or otherwise mean.  If they want to exclude me, well, they’re losing one of the best dancers in the local area.  They’re losing a troupe that does something completely unlike anything the rest of them do, which would bring a lot of value to the show.  If they want to lose that asset, that’s fine.  They’re also losing my experience and expertise in the dance world from somewhere with a greater knowledge base than Texas.  They’re losing someone that’s a genuine artist, not just some girl that’s taken a handful of lessons and considers two years in belly dance enough to make her a dancer because she’s got a background in other dance.  Oh…wait…that was a dig at Kim…opps…

However, this is my private sanctuary.  This is my safe-haven.  I don’t even care if she reads it because she’d actually have to look to find me here.  If she does, more power to her.  I honestly don’t care.  I have every right to feel any way I want about her.  I have a right to express it.  However, I’m not going to advertise it in circles she travels in.

And I’m not going to say anything about the way she dances.  She’s an artist and free to interpert the music any way she pleases.  I’ll make mention to my troupe, however, it’s all in the effort to educate them.  I’m not going to make comentary on her costumes.  Again, that makes me the critic.  I’m not going to comment on anything but the way she treats me from this point out, because that is the only valid point I have to comentate on.  I refuse to fall into the realm of the critic because I truly am the artiste…

However, I’ve proven I can do it.  I can create a performance that completely wows the audience using only very simple tribal moves.  I’ve created a performance that I can honestly say I’m proud of.  I’ve created a piece that I worked my butt off for and I’m now gaining the rewards.  I’ve proven I’m really worth something as a performer.  Hopefully I’ll be able to prove just how much I’m worth.

The performance is over and the bonds this troupe has made have only strengthened.  We’re building a foundation here.  We’ve got a future with at least one performance to look forward to and many more potential standing before us.  We’re doing this and we’re really going to make it happen.

So now I’m not looking forward to Desert Passion with dread.  I’m looking forward to November Noir with excitement!  Only six weeks away!  I think we’ll be more than ready by then!

~*~Rave~*~