Why are they so rude?

So the kids just got here.  Within five minutes Lili was already whispering in her brother’s ear.  I chided her for being rude and told her I wasn’t going to accept rudeness in my own home.  She’d have to can it.  Would you believe she actually glared at me?  I suppose I deserved it in some twisted way.  Kids will be kids.  However, I don’t have to tolerate it.  They’re just doing it to be mean to Corde.  I’m sorry, but she’s the only one of the older kids that has some actual claim to be here.  I’m not going to tolerate her being mistreated, even if it is just kids being kids.

Maybe it’s just that I have not-so-fond memories of kids treating me that way when I was younger.  I remember them teasing me.  I remember being called a copy-cat when I wasn’t at all, we just happened to like the same things.  I remember having the kids whisper to each other than laugh at me, or deliberately leave me out of secrets or games.  I remember them being incredibly rude like that to be hurtful.  This same trend is happening again.  All Ian and Lili want to do is be friends with each other and they want to leave Corde out because she doesn’t fit in.  She’s different and I guess they don’t like it.

Honestly, I don’t blame their mom.  I don’t blame any of their family.  Kids will be kids and that’s about all there is to it.  No matter how much we try to intervene as adults, they’re still going to act the way they want as kids.  Yeah, we may influence them, but it doesn’t go any farther than influence.  I doubt they could have done anything to stop these kids from developing these atttiudes, at least outside the home.  It’s just the way kids work.  They try and get away with more while they’re away.  No adult can really stop what happens outside their own reach.  However, I’ll be doing all I can here.  If I don’t, I’m going to strangle one of them.

I just don’t know at what point to stop considering it kids doing what they’re going to do and when I should set the line.  I know I can’t forbid them from doing anything obnoxious, but in truth, how much should I let them get away with?  The rudeness won’t be tolerated.  I don’t allow anyone to be rude in my house, no matter what the age.  The whining is unacceptable in my book.  It seems like all they ever do is whine about this or that and how life is so unfair.  I won’t go as far as Caelan in responding with, "Well, get used to it because life isn’t fair".  However, there are some things that I honestly shouldn’t have to put up with.  If they’re whining because they’re hungry, well, they should have gotten up when their mom got them up instead of when they felt like getting up, and they should have eaten breakfast instead of playing.  Their choices come with consequences and I shouldn’t have to make up for their lack of good choices.  They’re six and nine, old enough to understand that their actions will have an effect on their life.  Therefore, I shouldn’t have to spend a small fortune in feeding them because of their bad decisions.

Then there’s just some logical sense stuff.  Ian can’t bring Claire upstairs if he’s not going to bring her downstairs.  Those stairs are steep.  I’d prefer Claire didn’t go up there.  However, he lets her go up there.  I’m seriously going to start making new rules in my house…there’s a reason I shut the door to the bedrooms upstairs and I’ve told them why.  However, Ian leaves Claire upstairs with the girls, neither of which can safely get her down the stairs again.  Then they forget about her and leave her up there at the top of the stairs.  That is so far beyond acceptable.  If he’s bringing her up there, he’s bringing her down.  And if he doesn’t do it one more time, she stays upstairs.

I just don’t know what to do with them anymore.  They get over here and are all attitude from the moment they walk in the door.  They’re complaining about being hungry.  Ian is instigating to get Corde going above all, however, he goads all of them into tantrums, even Claire.  Lili comes in with the crossed arms and upturned nose.  Then when her mom leaves, she’s doing nothing but bossing Corde around, telling her what she can and can’t do.  I’m not saying Corde’s much better.  She throws a tantrum at the drop of a hat.  She’s possible the worst of them all because of that.  However, looking at the situation, she’s got to share all her toys.  She’s got to share her room and her space.  She’s got them telling her what to do in her own house.  She’s also the youngest and most timid of the three, aside from when her temper flares.  I would be a lot more tolerant of Lili and Ian if we were guests in their home, but we’re not.  They’re at my house and Corde is the one being put out by them.

And I feel bad about some things.  For example, the crashing and the banging I hear from upstairs.  It honestly sounds like they’re throwing things or dropping things with all the heavy sounding thuds I hear from up there.  I’m going to stop forbidding them from playing upstairs if there’s one more crash that shakes the entire house like that.  It’s inappropriate and completely unacceptable.  There is no reason to shake the whole house and there’s no reason they need to play that rough.  All they’re going to do is wake up the baby, which it sounds like they have.  Given he usually sleeps in, this is not a happy day for me.  I’ve got to get him up when he’ll be tired and cranky and that’s not going to make any day nice for anyone, especially me.

I don’t know how these kids can manage to get on my bad side within five minutes of coming in my door, but it seems they’re getting quite the knack for it.  I don’t understand it, nor do I really want to.  I just want them to stop doing it so I won’t have to strangle them for getting on my nerves.  I’m finding I have less patience when dealing with my own children as a result of the way they act at my house all day.  This is why I stopped being a nanny in the first place.  I hate watching other people’s children because they’re not my responsibility to raise and teach manners.

What really gets me is once the attitudes are all set aside, they play really well together.  They really are good kids.  They aren’t all attitude and bad manners.  I don’t know why they’re that way here.  When they’re not around my child, they’re usually pretty good.  When they’re at their own house instead of mine, they’re much better.  What is it about my house that inspires the attitude.  I don’t know.  Maybe they need a break, or maybe if I ride it out, they’ll start to realize their attitude isn’t going to get them anywhere.  They do spend an aweful long time at my house, so we’ll see.

Well, until that point, I’m going to try not to

be driven too insane by the children who just don’t care about anything but what they want.  Again, mine is included in that one, at least for now.  I think at this point I’m going to make breakfast for me and the baby and the rest of them can starve.  Okay, Corde won’t starve, but she may not want to eat if her friends aren’t.  However, I’m not going to survive this day without something to keep me going.

~*~Rave~*~