Two Jumps in a Week

Well, i am in Tucson.

i am not home. i am not happy. i am, however, not as empty as i dreaded i would be. There are reasons for this.

Flagstaff. Deanna. Jenny. Justin. Brad. Liquor. Jerod. Katie. Sarah. New life plans.

i went from New York to New Mexico (after being stuck in Chicago) for a funeral, and from New Mexico to Flagstaff to visit Deanna.

My trip to Flagstaff was Therapeutic. i spent 10 days up there in the forest with my beloveds. And we laughed and cried and talked. And one day the headline of the local newspaper read “Substitute Teacher Shortage Deepens.”

i had amazing conversations about literature and philosophy and life. i loved my freinds even more than i thought i ever could.

i remembered what was missing in that big city i love. i felt that void fill up that not even New York could heal.

But i miss it. i cry at night.

i am so fucking sad and so fucking confused and so unsure and so in love and so dedicated and so lonely without my town.

But, i have my friends. And that is all i need.

…I bet you think you’re pretty clever, don’t you? It was beautiful to drink, and laugh, and talk face to face again last night. I love you and yes, if it were possible I’d totally want to have like 10,000 of your babies, or vice versa, I’d probably be the guy. uhh, maybe I’m still drunk. I DID have like 2 whole drinks!

sounds like you’re gonna make it… and you’ll make it good, i bet

Listen to “New York City” by They Might Be Giants, if you haven’t. If anyone should hear it, you should. I’ll arrange it, find me, it’ll be easy to do.

you are so beautiful…and i know everything will be okay. You’re in a forest…you’re in a forest with Heather..and you’re very warm…very…warm.

Iris Pale

August 19, 2002

LET’S GO BACK! damn it. I love you.

stray cat strutting

your friends love you. *hug* welcome almost-home

prdrprincesa

August 20, 2002

sometimes, friendships fill so much more than a void…i couldn’t imagine staying here in nyc without the friends that i have…

I miss you

i couldve written this myself. i miss it so much. it hurts. but it can’t fill up the need that home does. we can’t have it all huh? but we can go visit.

Incumbent

August 24, 2002

Ok, now it makes sense… 🙂 Sorry about your homesickness though. I’m from NY too and I know how great the city is. keep a high chin. –

i wish i could have been there, but i am here at least.

*hugs* You are so beautiful you know? I love you and wish I could have been there.