What goes around don’t come around

Have any of you ever been so obsessed with a band or a song that it affects your entire mood and your entire being? I’ve been obsessed with this Canadian band named Marianas Trench for the last 4 years or so, but even moreso over the last year. It’s been even worse just over the last week. I’m finding deeper meaning in the lyrics and I just can’t get this stuff out of my head. I love it, but it’s…well…obsession. I’m hooked. I don’t love being SO obsessed over things that I can’t get out of my own head.

Got into an argument with the boyfriend last week. Love him to death, but his priorities… It didn’t help that I’d been listening to Marianas Trench and one of the lyrics struck me really hard during that “argument”. It wasn’t even really a fight, per se. He did something pretty shitty which made me feel pretty awful. I’m still not quite sure if it was the situation or the lyrics that had me crossing that line, but for the first time in..oh..years, I was actually all teary over a situation with him. I don’t like it when that happens. Not at all. What made it even worse, though, was that he knew he screwed up and all he did was tell me to lay into him because he deserved it. He apologized twice and I told him I had a lot I wanted to say to him, none of which was nice, and his response was, “go ahead. Do it. You deserve to be angry.” And the song lyrics that I had going on in the background were from the Marianas Trench song “Fallout” and they go like this:

“…I’m on the ledge
While you’re so goddamn polite and composed…”

That just…shoved me right over. I was a wreck for several days. Because of Boyfriend’s response, though, I wouldn’t say anything. I had so much…SO MUCH…going on in my head that I wanted to say, and none of it was at all nice, and because he was so “goddamn polite and composed,” I just couldn’t do it. It felt like sinking down to a level and giving him some upper hand. Grr…

Anyway, I’m still trying to post some entry that I’ve been trying to post for a week now, at least. OD seems to be a tiny bit better and quicker, so I’ll give it a shot again.

Nope. It still won’t post.

So I’ll leave you with the actual Marianas Trench “Fallout” song as well as the newest video “By Now”, which completely breaks my heart and shatters me into a million pieces every single time I watch it.