‘Cause I’m “The Boss”….

Because I’m "The Boss", people accept that I’m a "bitch". In fact, it’s fucking EXPECTED. 

First of all, let me just clarify something. "Bitch" is in quotations because from my perspective, I’m not sure my behavior merits that term. You know how the general populace will say, "Oh my god, I just HATE fake people!". Then they turn around and plaster that stupid smile and say, "Oh my god! It’s so good to see you." to their nemesis? Yeah. That’s not me. When it comes to that social norm, I am Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. I don’t think I have the physical capability to be fake to someone. I have zero comprehension of it. I’m respectful. And I’ll leave you alone if you leave me alone. But I will stand up for myself and I WILL call bullshit when I see it.

So when you come to work at my bar, showing up for your shift wearing a shirt you probably brought in the kid’s section at Target and proceed to incessantly bitch about the ex-70’s porno man that kept hitting on you…you’re gonna get the "fucking really, dumb ass?" look from me. That’s like a stripper saying, "Oh my god…that guy would NOT quit staring at my tits. What an asshole." 

Enter Beginning of Work Rant: You’re a bartender!! A FEMALE bartender! We don’t care if you flirt or not with customers. Whatever works for you to get tips (legally, mind you)…great. That’s your fucking job. Innocent flirting pays your rent! Or feeds your shopping addiction or buys your blow. Whatever. The point is…

I made a girl cry at the bar last night. For the previously stated reason. While closing up, I filled out my paperwork and listened to her drone on and on about this overly-exaggerated scenario. And just as an FYI…I know it was overly-exaggerated because I watched the exchange personally. While innocent flirting is fine, some people are douche bags and it can cross the line. In that case, I do everything I can to protect the employees. The guy, while slightly more persistent (or dense?) than most male customers, was not out of line. In fact, I think part of his persistent behavior was because my employee egged it on! On more than one occasion, I caught her pulling her shirt down if she saw this man approach, winking and giving that OBNOXIOUS laugh girls do when they are trying to be cute. Never ONCE did this particular girl ever indicate she was uncomfortable or creeped out. My employees know, from day one of working here, that one look from them and I’ll bounce the drunkard out.

……big breath.

Anyway. So, I stopped and told her point blank, "In the future, if you don’t want to be hit on repeatedly by customers, play the lesbian card. Say you’re married. Tell me or Tuggs (counter bouncer). Or hell, buy a t-shirt from the adult’s department. But I’m calling bullshit otherwise. If you can’t handle this job, you know where the door is." 

She stared at me like I slapped her. Later I overheard another bartender tell her, "Don’t take it personally. She’s the boss, so she has to be a bitch."

Was that being bitchy? ……

I’m reminded of the sketch Louis CK does…