As you were…

I’m alive. 

I went back to Oregon last week-and straight into work. I’ve holed myself up in my little cubicle ever since. Practically. And you know what?

It’s just fucking grand.

Starting to realize that just because someone you love stops moving, doesn’t mean the world does to. Strange concept, right? But I swear to you, it doesn’t.

Old German neighbor noticed her paper hadn’t been fucked with recently. She was the least excited to see me.

Stu practically peed his trousers at my arrival. As promised, he compiled my mail on my kitchen counter, killed my house plants and ate whatever food was left in the house. And he did not have sex in my bed. Yeah, right. Glad he was there to prepare me for reality again.

Co workers act as if I had never left. I have an idea that this is based on some warning Chaz gave to them before my arrival. Thank God. It’s a rare occasion when I am thankful for something that man does.

I’ve eased up on smoking pot. As much as I enjoy my diluted state of mind, it hasn’t been helping my ambition lately.

I miss Poppa J. More than before. But I’ve got to let go. If my fucking stubborn Italian traits would let me.

Speaking of Italian…I spoke to my grandfather for the first time in my life last week. Dad wanted me to wait until after he passed to tell his parents. He apologized for the unpleasant introduction. I suppose I technically talked to my grandmother first, but after I said, "This is Harlow *********, your son Joel’s daughter.", she cursed in Italian and said something to the affect of she has no son by that name before hanging up. My Italian is rusty since I quit living with my dad years ago. My grandpa managed to get my number off the caller ID and called back in private later. We weren’t able to talk long, but he was deeply saddened about Dad’s passing. Apparently the fall out was mainly between my dad and his mom. 

Despite the bad news, he seemed relieved. I guess hearing what happened to your long lost son does that. He’s called me once more since then, but only in private. He said to give my grandmother time to come around. I personally don’t care if she does one way or another. I’ve lived 25 years without a grandmother. Why start now?

Going for a jog with Dart. This is progress.

*EDIT

 Big thanks to you virtual beings for your notes of sympathy. Appreciated more than you know.