How to have an identity crisis in 7 easy steps
Step 1) Get on the train.
2) Sit down. Opposite a ninja.
3) No, really, I mean a real proper cereal ninja. With the toe-socky-foot things and a Korean flag on his sleeve (it’s a Korean ninja, ok? Except he’s black so not Korean, I guess. Oh wait, is that racist? Maybe his family moved to Korea long ago and Korean is his first language. I don’t know. I’m going to just be racist as per usual and call him Afro Ninja!!!!!!1! and tell you he is a real life person and now I know which train he catches. Hello new train boyfriend.)
4) Appreciate that Afro Ninja is truly embodying the phrase "Just Be Yourself".
5) See a reflection in the train window and recognise that it’s you, being yourself.
6) Realise simultaneously that being yourself is only cool if you’re someone like Afro Ninja, and that you are not Afro Ninja.
7) Have an identity crisis.
Afro Samurai is a real feature-length anime that had Samuel L Jackson do the voice acting of Afro Samurai – a fairly self-explanatory protagonist who likes to fuck shit up with his sword. And yet… it sucked. HOW CAN THAT BE?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
omg samuel l jackson as a ninja! sikkkk
Warning Comment
i would totally go down the identity crisis route. had a similar situation when i was sitting opposite a rastafarian one night. he was sitting there, bobbing his head, chuckling to himself, then he would suddenly bolt upright, with wide, bloodshot eyes, looking at everyone with snappy movements of his head until he was satisfied that no one wanted to kill him. then he went back to the chuckling. repeat ad infinitum.
Warning Comment
7 steps? I can do it in 5. I don’t have a cool train boyfriend though.
Warning Comment
Afro Samurai sucked? Crap.
Warning Comment