Needed to let it out lol

Well, here I am..only 2 more hours left of work and I’m outta here to sleep!  I’m going to try and convince J to get the internet at home.  If I have to I’ll go get my computer and set it up lol.  We’ll have to do something besides dialup though because we just use our cell phones we have no home phone.  What internet service do ya’ll use, just out of curiousity…I want something somewhat quick, but still cheap lol.  We need to do something because it’s kinda handy if I have a question or something I can just hop on the net and figure it out lol.  Lastnight I came to work and then went home because we were over staffed and I felt like total crap, so I went home watched Nascar and just did nothing lol.  Today I’ve been like really down and depressed and I’m not exactly sure why.  J can tell and he’s afraid it something he has done, and to be right honest I am irritated with him and I have no reason to be.  I’m just flat out irritable.  For one, nothing to do with him, but I’m sick and tired of being the choice of everyone’s conversation…not only that when it’s negative comments about me.  Yeah so I’m pregnant…we’re not married, we really haven’t been dating all that long, but I’m happy, he’s happy..WE ARE HAPPY and that’s all that matters.  It’s like people are so damn concerned about my ex husband and feel sorry for him…which is understandable, but do people not understand that me and him are still friend…really good friends…WE ARE NOT married anymore and I’ve moved on…so I’m pregnant..it’s not his baby…we haven’t been together in over a year….Also, I guess I am a bit irritated with J because he has yet to tell a single soul that I’m pregnant…I just asked him tonight if he had told anyone and he said no when I asked him why he said because he wanted to wait til I go to the doctor.  Which is still a month away….he said it’s not because he doesn’t believe it….he just wants to "wait for the right time"….it seriously makes me wonder if he’s ashamed and he’s worried he’s going to have to deal with all the people talking and what not…kinda like what I"m dealing with…and I really haven’t told that many people…I have yet to tell my dad, but only because I haven’t talked to him.  While I’m at it…what else can I vent about lol.  I’m just so irritable and I have a million things going through my head.  I really want to just go home and tell J I’m sorry for being such a bitch lol…I’m sure he’ll understand…I hope…I’ll make it up to him lol