08/18/2011

Right now I wish the fires of hell would engulf *K* and give her just a taste of the pain that her stupid, selfish, sick behavior has caused her daughter.
*E* and I had run to Walmart to pick up some supplies she needs for school and after that we stopped by Starbucks to get her a Java Chip Frappachino (her favorite) and a slice of lemon pound cake.
We had had a good trip, her telling me about her day and it seemed she was genuinely happy and I was enjoying our time together.
We were about 2 miles from the house and I looked over and she was crying hard. I immediately pulled over and stopped the car. I asked her what was wrong and she shook her head, refusing to answer. I asked again and she answered; "Mommy won’t be here for my Sweet 16 birthday." Her birthday will be in 3 days and my sister, her Nana, her cousins, and of course, myself will all be there but I know it hurts her that her mom won’t be, because *K* is too selfish to see what she wants hurts others.
I tried to put my arm around her and hold her but she pulled sharply away and said "NO!"
This really hurt because I know deep down she blames me for moving her out here. So here I am again, doing what I can to make it the best I can for *E* and I have to pay for *K*’s actions.

I so wanted to say that the people who really love *E* WILL be here and thus without actually saying it, let her know that her mom cares nothing about anyone but herself. Of course I cannot and would not do that so I just had to be quiet and take another incident of *E* rejecting me.

*K* had talked to *E* last night and with today’s melt down I have to wonder what *k* is saying to *E* during these calls…

Tomorrow I have my court date phone appearance for my divorce. I have to call in at about 10:25 am my time and wait on the phone until my case is called. I hope this time the judge will actually listen and hear that *K* and I have no unresolved issues and that we can get some of this stuff done. It is stupid to keep having these Status Conference Appearances since they are designed to let the 2 parties work out any issues of property etc. It takes 2 sane people to work together and *K* is far from that state.
There are no issues. I am giving up everything to get out as fast as possible but *K* still thinks that somehow the court is going to force me to stay on the mortgage and allow her to live there. I need to convince the judge to order *K* to agree to put the house on the market. She has not paid the mortgage for two months as it is. But in her sick and twisted mind I have no doubt she believes the court will order me to pay the mortgage…