TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!

I don’t understand why some people still think I’m too picky and unrealistic. Especially guys, which still piss me off at times. It’s like, it’s always okay for them to choose any girl they like to be with – based on (just) looks, that is. ("She’s hot, she’s not" kind of remark and all that jazz. Ugh!) Okay, I understand that guys are mostly visual creatures and we have to accept that (un/fortunate?) fact. (Honestly, there are a lot of other things in the world that we have to put up living with you guys, but I don’t want to be accused of being a man-hater. I love my father and brother, okay? I’ve also got good guys who are my friends – and they treat me with respect.)

However, if I tell some guys that I like a guy because I find his thick, dark eyebrows and faint stubble incredibly sexy – then what do I get? Being called ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’. (WHAT THE-??) It’s like I have no right to do that. Talk about sick, double standard. Yuck!

I mean, how seriously daft can people be? Just because I honestly and openly admire some hunks doesn’t mean I’m instantly in love with them and want them to be mine. Whoa, hold it right there!

I’m picky? How funny. You’d be surprised if I told you that once I’d fallen for a not-so-attractive guy with quite serious mental issues that a lot of people told me: "What are you doing with that guy? What do you ever see in him?"

Alright, so here’s the bitter reality about a lot of Indonesian men (not all, but unfortunately quite too many!)

They’re not as tolerant nor as open-minded as they claim to believe. They say they like smart women, but only when they shut up and listen to them. They’re not really ready to have a healthy, intelligent argument with those women. They still expect to be royally-pampered and obeyed without questions.

They think women like me are too critical. They think I’ve been too ‘westernized’. (God, I can’t believe they’re still using that term!)

I’m fed up with this. I’m sick to death of all this – their nasty comments about me, their accusations, small-minded speculations, and judgments:

"You’re never going to get any husband with that attitude!" (Thanks a lot. Telling me that makes me feel sorry for your wife. If she can put up with your pompous behaviour, then GOOD.)

"You need to lose weight. Don’t you want to have a boyfriend?"

Want to know what I think of these people? They can just take a hike. They expect me to listen to them, understand them, and accept their opinions without questions – and especially arguments. However, they also laugh at my opinions and find them…silly. Unrealistic and unaccounted for.

(So, does that mean I have to be somebody else I’m not – just for them to like me better?)

Mz.D has always been right: there are battles that just can’t be won. So I just let them believe whatever the hell they like. They won’t even bother get to know the real me at all!

"The reason you’re still single now is that a lot of Indonesian guys are intimidated by your wit and intelligence."

So what? Does that mean I’ve got to start playing dumb in order to get some guy’s attention? I mean, what kind of a guy will I really get from doing that?

You know what? This is rubbish. I can never win this. They’ll never be satisfied. Whatever I do is never good enough. They will always criticize me.

I can only be myself and try my best. That’s all. I don’t think I can ever be somebody else that I’m not just to be loved. Take it or leave it!