Trying is another word for failing.

I am trying to get things right.

To make everything better.

To fix the things I have done.

I’m working on it.

But god damnit everytime I try to stand up I just get kicked in the fucking ribs.

again and again and again and again.

I don’t remember ever feeling such a feeling as this.

Getting kicked when I didn’t give a fuck about getting up. That was one thing. It drove me insane…which is why I didn’t care.

But This…

This is making me so fucking angry.

So frustrated.

I am trying to pick myself up so that someone else can pick themself up too.

Because I destroy everything I touch.

I need to start fixing things.

It’s hard.

It’s so hard.

It is hard. I haven’t mastered it yet, and when I think I have I usually find myself downing bottles and punching things. It’s like that. I mean, we’re substance abusers, so it’s always going to be rough, but when you get kicked in the ribs, get up and knock that douche to the ground! You can do this, ya know. You can.