I hate myself for doing this…

But here we are, aren’t we?

Here’s another god damn survey god damnit.

I’m sitting here waiting for thos herbal sleeping pill things to kick in…so, let’s pass some time shall we?

*NOTE – I just finished this survey and it’s way more serious than is worth reading. So…if you want to read a bunch of boring serious shit about my life, go for it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…well, it’s as serious as I get anyway. Tomorrow I will throw in some horseshoes and hand grenades or something. I dunno. Maybe a dragon.

Hehehe…pink

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
I dunno, it really depends on my mood I guess. If I don’t want to laugh I’m probably not going to…also, I know this sounds so completely self centered, but I think I make myself laugh more than anyone else does. But it’s usually because there’s a lot of dumb shit going on in my head that I don’t really know how to explain to people. Plus, I think I’m really funny. I have a lot of inside jokes with myself.

What was the last thing you drank?
Drinking my first beer of the day right now at 11:43 pm. Actually, my first sip of alcohol in a bit here…figured it would help the sleeping pills and I haven’t been sleeping well. WOOO!

Is there anything stressing you out currently?
I’m kind of always stressed, but I am starting on a novel and some childrens books, and a collection of short stories and what not…have some job interviews tomorrow….the stress feels like it’s going away. Plus we are entering the fall and the sun is finally going to go away. I hate the sun, so that is a happy thing.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Echo, then Rachael…this survey is already starting to bore me.

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
The last girl I had a conversation with, was Rachael. We took turns giving eachother massages and watching tv in our bed…so yeah, if that’s not hate then I don’t know what is.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
Job interviews, working on my writing, band practice, hopefully talking to some drag queens about Rachaels upcoming fashion show fundraiser to keep art in schools.

When someone says "we need to talk", what do you think?
Honestly, I don’t know what I would think besides that person has something they need to talk to me about. I mean…what do you think? Are you new to the english language?

Are you friends with someone who’s older than you?
My oldest friend who I’m not related to would have to be this blues musician named Donnie who I have been friends with for almost ten years now. I know he has been in his sixties for a few years, but I have never asked his specific age and he has never told me…I don’t think age matters once you get past a certain hump. I wasn’t past that hump when we first started becoming friends, we mostly just had music in common, but Rachael and I had his wife over for coffee when he was passing through SLC a month or so ago and it was great to just sit and visit. There is a lot to learn from people who have been here longer than you, no matter how much you think you know.

Are you allowed to stay up later than ten o’ clock?
No.

How did you get your last bruise?
I actually find this question funny because I have this seriesof bruises near my left armpit on my arm…and then this huge one that curves around the back of my right thigh. I haven’t blacked out from drinking in a long damn time and seriously wonder where the hell these things came from. It’s actually really kind of freaking me out. I said something jokingly to Rachael about getting abducted in my sleep…hehe…joking I think.

Have you ever dated someone older than you?
No, well…hahahahaha. Yeah. Bad times.

Who was the last person to call you?
Meh dad. For some reason he called to pretty much tell me that my sister just flew back home from Japan and he was taking her out to our families favorite restaraunt of all time in Garden Grove. I don’t understand why he wanted to hurt me like that…I don’t understand at all.

Is there a person of the opposite sex that means a lot to you?
My sister is one of my favorite people in the world for sure, of course there is my mom…even though she pisses me off a lot, but I guess I piss her off a lot too. Of course my gorgeous Rachael, and the cutest pain in my ass ever, Echo. Amytronikkk is little sister status to me and her little sister Deanne as well. The Metz girls might as well be a part of the goodman family. My step mom, although I have a reason to hate her for the rest of both of our lives if I wanted to, I don’t, she’s actually pretty rad. Both of my grandma’s are so awesome, totally opposite from eachother and totally kick ass in their own right. My aunt Sherri…she’s one of the few people in my family crazy enough to understand me. My aunt Jennifer who just gets a fucking kick out of me even though everyone else can seem annoyed. My half-sister Jerris. Kateface has talked me through a lot of shit. I would be dead if it wasn’t for my big sister Michelle. Mackenzi was one of my biggest rivals and one of my greatest influences when it came to all of our AP art classes and our friendship afterwards, RIP. And then of course there is Tess…Tess was my greatest companion I think I ever had. I can’t even describe how a dog could mean and do that much to get me through so many hards things in my life. When she finally died I cried for an entire week straight, I’m not afraid to admit that. Most of my friends who have died I haven’t even cried at all, let alone that much. I still miss that dog so much. I seriously can’t explain what she did for me because it doesn’t make sense really…she was just always there, never judging, always loved me. ALWAYS loved me. She never once hurt me, I never once hurt her, and she always seemed to know what I was thinking and feeling. If I was happy she knew it and she wanted to play and it was great, if I was sad she would just come up to me and persistantly nudge her nose under my arm until I finally just had my arm around her and she would just lay her head on my lap and stare up at me with her big sappy golden retriever eyes…damn. I miss that dog so fucking much.

Are you tired?
I wish. I want to be.

Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
No, when they try to get confusing I just start shutting them out because I’m not willing to play that game. I got really lucky with Rachael, she doesn’t play games at all. It’s pretty cut and dry with her, which makes it really easy to talk to her about anything, just from stupid stuff to serious stuff. She’s good at listening too. I really love that girl.

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Santa Claus? I wan

t some Dino-Riders.

What made you sad today?
I didn’t get sad today really until I started writing about Tess just then…but even then it wasn’t so much sad as just kind of missing her. I will never have a dog mean that much to me because I will never go through those same kinds of things again…plus, there was something special about her. I really know that.

Will you be in a relationship in four months?
I better be…if I’m not Imma have to choke a bitch.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
No. Only dopes do dope.

Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
Sober, and before that sober, and before that sober…but then maybe drunk, and then sober again, and then drunk and drunk, and then sober, then dead, then drunk again, then dead again, and then a monkey.

Do you know anyone who’s pregnant?
My step sister…but every once in a while I also like to pretend that my little sister is pregnant around my mom and then act like it’s totally my bad that I let it slip before she had said anything to my mom. Mom likes that game…she has never said so, and she always acts angry…and then persistantly questions my sister for a few days afterwards…but I like to think that is mom just playing the game back.

Tell me what’s on your mind?
John Denver perhaps? Or maybe just plane crashes and that’s where my mind went…or maybe I’m just thinking about Snakes on a Plane…or maybe just Samuel L. Jackson. No wait…Will smith in Independance Day. "Welcome to Earth" oh man that’s classic.

Does anyone love you?
There is this small group of people who claim to, yes. If they do or not…I dunno. "no one really knows the ones they love. If you knew everything they thought about you’d wish that they’d just shut up…well you were the sharp sound of dull math when you were alive and no one’s going to play the harp when you die, and if I had a nickel for every damn dime I’d have half the time…do you mind?"

When is the last time you cried?
I cry a lot. I’m a big stupid fucking cry baby. I just wait until no one’s around. I feel like Adam Sandlers character on Punch Drunk Love when he says that he just cries for no reason. That actually happens to me a lot. It’s fucking stupid.

Do you currently have a hickey?
If I do it’s on my asshole because Rachael loves to toss salad.

Have you ever kissed anyone who’s name started with a J, D?
JD is a guys name. I watch scrubs…that’s gross man. Zach Braff is gross.

How much money do you have on you?
Lots of drug money. I bring in shitloads of coke and illegal arms from Columbia and sell them to the Cubans…wait…I mean I bring them in from Cuba and sell them to the Cubans. Yeah, they have no idea what’s going on. No…maybe I bring them in from Columbia and sell them to the Columbians…fuck, maybe it’s Russia I bring them in from. I don’t know, I’m kind of in the middle of an Ether binge right now.