“I’m tired, so tired..

I’m tired of having sex, I’m spread so thin…I don’t know who I am."

I cut all of my hair off. Something had to change, I don’t know why, but yesterday I just couldn’t stand it anymore, it had to go.

I had my friend cut it, she did a really great job. I slept at her place…I really am so tired of sex.

I’m tired of relationships in general, including friendships…I’m just tired of it all you know? I guess some people call it "the grind" or something, I don’t know if that applies to normal everyday interactions or not…I don’t know.

I weighed myself last night, I am down to 162.

I want to lose about 7 more pounds.

I can do it…eating is for suckers anyway, it kind of makes me sick when I do it now, it just never sits right…and I am never hungry anymore, nothing ever sounds good, nothing is satisfying, it’s just not even enjoyable.

It’s weird.

I dunno…I don’t know anything.

I don’t understand why I am so hell bent on self destruction…

and I lose a lot of friends because for some reason I seem to dismantle the people around me  at the same time.

Anarchy in the UK has nothing on this.

I think I’m going to stop drinking and go back to drugs.

It seemed like at least I felt better physically, and I need something.