Dane G. Russ

August 3, 2009

Previous: 08/04/2009

I should maybe eat something

But I don’t think I can.

I feel like I need to…but I can’t remember the last time I finished a meal. Well…they are more like snacks at this point, but I still can’t take more than a few bites of anything without feeling like I have to puke.

I sat over the toilet and dry heaved for about 5 to 10 minutes until the bile started to come.

It made my teeth feel weak…I dunno. My teeth are probably going to start falling out soon anyway.

I have taken six mini shits already.

I can’t sleep.

I need to eat something.

I think the last time I ate was on sunday, but I don’t remember what it was.

Or when I ate it.

Oh wait…I had two chicken wings.

Now I remember.

I don’t feel good anymore.

I had to drink all morning just to feel as good as I do right now, which is still shitty.

I drank a little over a quarter from a liter of vodka, and I guarantee I could drive better than most sober people right now.

I’m not drunk at all.

It’s all just fucked again.

All of it.

I have my dad texting non stop right now.

My mom has been taking care of me all morning.

I got to her house from work today, I left early because I felt so fucking sick…and just started crying when I walked in the door.

I can’t do it.

I can’t do this.

I’m not strong enough.

I don’t know what is going to happen to me…but I have a bad feeling about this.

I’m sorry.

I really should just keep all this emo bull shit to myself.

I’m sorry.

MsJess

August 4, 2009

It’s ok. Please do eat something (even if it is just a little something), and let your parents help, too.

Aww hun A diary is to get it all out *hug* Have you been to the doctors for a bit of help ? Maybe ? Much love Elisabeth xoxo P.S. Eat something it will make you feel better xoxo

You Swan, Go On

Good luck. xo

pretty♥flawed

((hugs)) I hope you do feel better soon… I am sorry you are having such a rough time.

I Am the Soup Man

It might be time for getting some serious help man. I don’t want to see you get more sick.

It’s ok. There is no need to be sorry. I am so relieved that you’re at your mothers house. Please know that I am thinking about you.

JUST SOMEONE

Baby steps…keep going.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen you say you’re sorry before. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just mean that it kind of frightens me that you’ve said it now. Think of what you’d want your very last meal to be and eat that. You definitely NEED food but I know your body is rejecting it. Take baby steps. Eat a bite here and a bite there until your body allows food back into your system.

Needless to say, I’m worried, Dane. You’re one of the raddest people I know, and it sucks to see you like this.

Oh, and don’t worry about the emo bullshit. God knows I love me a little emo. 🙂

.sjc.

It’s not emo bullshit. I’m sorry you’re hurting so much.

Try some pedialite.

I agree with Superman. I think you should see a doctor. I’m waiting for some good news about you feeling better.

Sleeping on it

Saying your sorry is not something I am use to….Hang in there…eat small bites, but eat! *hugs*

mallory.jayne

please eat. i think you’re groovy… which means you deserve to be healthy and happy. i am never wrong. i think about you an awful lot when you’re like this. which is saying a lot for someone i’ve never really met. i hope you feel better/get better soon. i really mean it.

Dry toast works wonders, even if it’s only a few bites 🙂 If you’re at the point that you’re sick after drinking do not drink anything for the rest of the day/night. It will clear out your system and you will feel better for it.

wordspinner

Well, you KNOW what you need to do, but no words from anyone can make you do it. You don’t need to eat something, you need to get emergency medical care and then serious treatment for alcoholism or you’ll die very soon. But again, you know that.

berry143

ryn: noone, and i mean noone, will breathe a deep sigh of relief. thats a ridiculous notion. i barely know you at all yet im so wrapped up in your daily status, for some reason i really care about how youre doing. when i was on the plane tonight and i was high up in the sky, the clouds were all below me, blue was all around me, the sun was shining and i was half asleep. i was listening to some

really great music (dead can dance if you must knwo) and i was just thinking of you. and wishing the best things, the best foryou. i just find myself wondering how youre doing and i hope itsbetter than it was a few hours ago. i didnt read this most recent entry that you posted yet..but i hope that around 8 eastern standard time you felt some sort of good luck flowing over you bc i was calling

upon all the gods, goddesses and entities that i know of to help you out. just know that if i, aperfect stranger can hope this much for you, that the people who are actually IN your life, must feel so much stronger. and you need to carry on.

And that was one of the most honest things ive said or written out loud in my entire life.

killyourself345

August 5, 2009

You can eat my ass you son of a bitch.

you shouldnt have to keep “all this emo shit” to yourself. THIS IS YOUR DIARY. fck the people who are here to make fun. if i were there, i would hug you. it would make you feel better. if i hugged everyone in the world, we’d have world peace. feel better, babe. =/

I’m ready, too. I’ve just never seen me really going until I’m about 32. I don’t think you can say you even really lived until you’re at least 30.

Halcyon Fox