It’s all gone too far…

I don’t even know what to write right now.

I am so miserable today…I am the worlds biggest piece of shit.

I am "a waste of time."

I don’t even know what is wrong with me…I guess I just continually explode because of the pressure of everything I keep to myself.
Just keep pushing down.
Tuck it away.
Drown it.
Poison it.

I don’t even feel like writing this stupid fucking entry.

Fuck this.

Fuck it all.

Anger is only dangerous when it is not directed at any one thing, and mine just seems to fan out across the entire world.

I wish I was born in a different time, in a different place.

I don’t belong in this fucked up society.
I would have done so much better a hundred years ago, maybe even push it back farther.

Maybe sometimes in the 1700’s would have been good for me.

I could just live in the forest, by myself, hunting animals and trading their pelts. Only dealing with the rest of the world when I need something from them.

Maybe I can still do that.

I hate this society.

I hate myself.

I hate alcohol.

I hate my stupid fucking head.

I absolutely hate my head.

I know my brain is broken…it’s not an excuse for any of this.

I don’t even know if it’s fair to say it was broken, because that would imply it was whole at one time. My brain was just built with wires crossed and pieces missing, like some piece of shit Ikea coffee table.

I don’t know where I am going today…but I am going.

I guess maybe I will know when I get there.

.ivy.

July 14, 2009

Your question will be difficult to answer since I refuse to watch both Indiana Jones and Star Wars. Any of them. And, my head is screwed, as well. Trust me.

berry143

yaaa 1700s woodsman, i hear ya for real! society does blow. most of it is a farse, nothings promised, its a questionable journey with no answers!!! ..one day at a time, everyone deserves happiness including you

killyourself345

You need to watch more 24 hour news stations, then you’ll understand.

I wanted to leave it private, but I don’t care anymore. 956-774-8475 Any time. Any day.

EverMore22

being by yourself when you want to be is extremely easy. it’s not hard for me at all. i’m happiest when no one is around bothering me. the trick is not to get too caught up in your head when you’re alone. but you can work around that too.

rodeogirl

July 15, 2009

I Am the Soup Man

#1: You should teach guitar lessons. Seriously. Seriously. #2: you should join the OD book club. We’re reading Catch-22. It’s going to be bad ass.

I AGREE WITH SUPERMAN. To fulfill both 1 and 2 of his plan, you need ME!!!!! I’m going to “save you from this darkness,” Snow Patrol style. HAHA I’M SO GAY. Anyway, read Catch 22 with us and TEACH ME GUITAR.

I wish I was in the position to tell you to come stay with me for a few months to see if you liked living here. I honestly think you would fit in. It sucks that so many people have offered me places to stay and I can’t do the same. I have a small apt and unfortunately I don’t have the extra money to support someone until they can get on their feet.