PostScript for .tears.for.sappho.

I posted this on my old diary, because I felt like that’s where is belonged.  But I wanted to put it here also, for those who didnt know me then.

All these verses, they meant something.  Prologue, yes.  Indifferent, no.

We both agreed that having had a chance to truly know each other for the last couple years has prepared us well for whatever comes next.  We stayed up until the wee hours again, telling truths and feeling like time closed a hole somewhere.  Small details betray her.  She has all of the email i ever sent her, except for the ones from that summer-all the good ones.  Ironically, I deleted them only ONE WEEKS DIFFERENCE IN TIME.  We both tried to forget, and it didnt work for either of us.

It is strange knowing the parallell of the past two years existed from the other side of this chasm.  "I wasnt allowed to think about it", she said.  I asked why, "you and I were both with someone, but now I can think about it all I want".

That night, at ray, she wished we were alone.  I has as well, and the same song moved us both.  

I admitted to her that I had once looked up our astrological compatibility (I am Sag, she is Aries), and that supposedly its very good.  She wanted me to look it up again, so I did.  I found this old silly page I found once before.  The one that in addition to the appraisal said "a long happy life, with lots of children and animals".  I sent it to her, and she responded remarking on the same line.  Of course, I have the children, she has the animals.

Two weeks ago, when I admitted to her how I felt, she knew.  She said she had suspected, and knew I was nervous, but wanted me to tell her when I felt comfortable.  I sent her again these things I write, and she likes the way I say things.  I told her, I dont expose myself to people I care too much about, but i seem to trust you.

Truth, she asks for without words, and I give freely.  I dont know what will happen, but I am ready to find out now.  It is just so deeply moving to me that these words mattered.  It all did make sense, and it wasnt merely symptoms of madness.

I need merely the slightest push, Jamie.  Time, and you.  Ill be so found.