a six inch valley, through the middle of my skull

So, I have been up all night, listening to Bruce Springsteen’s "I’m On Fire" on repeat.  If you need a refresher, I have included the song.  I love the song, but it is just way too short.

So, Dominic posted on his Facebook that he is looking for both women and men, an that he "loves NYC in the springtime".  What a douchebag.  I really do wish I had the balls to delete him, so I didnt have to see his retarded updates.  I reverted to "single" on Facebook, which entailed this little morsel of weirdness:

Does anyone else think that is the most ridiculous thing ever?  Like, it just sums up in those cold pixels the feeling in becoming single.  The detachment of it all.  Yes, I am sure I’d like to delete my relationship, Facebook.  Thank you for checking.

Since I awkwardly professed my feelings for Jamie the other day, she has been acting differently.  She never came out and said that she felt the same way, but she has literally been in contact with me in one way or another every ten minutes.  And if any blank time has occured, she tells me exactly why *sry, i was driving, im going to BJ’s*, *going into mtg, will be 45 mins i think*.  Like she is making sure I have tabs on her at all times.  Then, when she goes to bed (the non night owl she is) she always closes with xoxo.  I know it is retarded, but I find it so sweet. *swoon* I love her.

I’ve got a bad desire, oooh, I’m on fire..

I had a dream last night that we were in Florida (my home), driving on the bridge over the bay.  In my dream, I took off my seatbelt and climbed out the window, to smell the sea.  Flash forward, and I am dragging her by the hand across the dunes and through the sea oats to the shore at PassAGrille, laughing over my shoulder.  I threw my shoes in the air, and ran into the surf.  Pulling her along, i dove into the wave kissed sand to show her the wonder of the colorful coquina.  It was sun-kissed perfection.  When I awoke, I swear I smelled the ocean, and it stung my eyes with sentiment and beauty.  

I told her this, and she asked if I wanted to go back.  I couldnt help but feel as if she was worried I would say yes.  Someday I might tell her she is the only reason I remain.

Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull, and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull

It was a beautifully perfect day today in New Jersey, the first 70+ day we have had on the weekend this season.  I took the kids to the park, and sat in the shade of an old oak.  She texted me, she was at the park.  Why did I find such significance in that small detail?

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head

I drank the rest of the amaretto we had from the holidays, and it made me feel warm and comfortable.  Tonight, when we talked at the end of the day, she asked me how my day was.  Well, love, it was perfect because i talked to you all through it.  Of course, I kept that to myself.

Oh oh oh, I’m on fire.

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