one moon cycle.

ermahgerd!   joaquinito is a month and a day old!     my, my, my how fast time can fly!    
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things i need to notate:

+ we took quinito in for his 1-month check-up on friday.    the first order of business is always to strip the baby down to his naked self and put him on the scale.  aaron and i always have different ideas of how fast this nugget is growing, and he usually wins.   the nurse took down his weight, length and head measurements and left the room.   she came back in and was like "WHAT are you feeding him?!"  and i was like "BOOBS!"   she was surprised at how much he had gained by just having breastmilk.   and ps, he still hasn’t been introduced to a bottle, so this is pure boob action.    i was very proud.  as was aaron  [insert beaming picture of aaron here]   aaron also likes to tell people how much milk i can pump in a single sitting and was so EXCITED the first time my boobs leaked.     um.

[ps.  i’ve started pumping milk, but we have yet to introduce j.r. to a bottle..]

the scale indicated that he has packed on more than TWO POUNDS since his last visit, which was just over two weeks ago.   he went from 7 lbs, 5 oz to 9 lbs, 5.5 oz.   he’s also grown from 20 inches to 22.5 inches.   goodness!   no wonder his newborn clothes aren’t fitting him anymore.

he’s essentially in the 90th percentile(s) for all of his measurements now, which is a notable jump from his last well baby visit.    so, yay!   i do think he’s taking after his daddy in the most desirable ways.

+ speaking of growing, i had to put away his newborn clothes yesterday as he graduates into his 0-3 month clothes.   i wasn’t prepared for how sad it would make me.   he barely wore some of the clothes, and didn’t wear others at ALL.   crap!   people aren’t kidding when they tell you it will fly by.

– i also need to note that  there were some days in the very beginning where i felt so overwhelmed i didn’t know what to do with myself.  i had semi-regular crying sessions and felt so sleep-deprived that i couldn’t even IMAGINE getting through each day because the nights were SO HARD.  but as quickly as they came, they passed.   and i KNOW i’m not out of the woods AT ALL yet, but i do feel much more in control of my emotions, and i am slowly but surely gaining confidence in my ability to be a REAL MOM.  

– so here’s something interesting:   i had my placenta made into pills IN CASE i decided i would want to ingest them post-partum.   the research indicates that it can help with post-partum depression, milk supply, fatigue, etc.   i couldn’t actually imagine i would WANT to eat the pills, but like a lot of things i did with this pregnancy, i wanted to do it JUST IN CASE, because i didn’t want to regret NOT doing it.  (i used this same rationale to decide to bank joaquin’s cord blood and tissue!)    i can’t remember the EXACT day i decided to take the pills, but after a particularly heart-wrenching crying session,  it was gently suggested to me by my lovely husband that "maybe" i should try one of my pills?   just to see if it would help?

god bless him.

i hesitate to fully credit the pills with my consequent ability to breastfeed better and normalize my crazy emotions, but there was a direct correlation with my sense of feeling less overwhelmed and confident with the moment i started taking the pills.   so whether or not they "worked," doesn’t matter.    i still take one a day and each day i feel more human, so the ritual will most likely continue. 

however, i DO acknowledge that the simple idea of taking the pills is pretty effing gross.    but whatever works, yo.

in general, i can say this about the past month:   it’s been a roller coaster ride of emotions and sensations.   i feel extremely blessed with the way my body and mind have adjusted to growing a baby.   the body is a truly amazing machine.   i’m overwhelmed with love for this little guy who depends on me to sustain his life – and it’s so rewarding to watch him grow and thrive.    it’s been a crazy adjustment, and i still kind of suck at changing diapers, but thankfully aaron is amazing at it.   i think back to this time LAST YEAR, when I had just pulled the goalie and aaron and i were going to start "trying" to have a baby.   i boggles my mind how much has changed in 365 days.

be forewarned!  i’ve been writing posts in my head about the following topics

– breastfeeding 
– how awesome aaron is
– how awesome my family & friends are
– how i’m planning my re-entry into the world
– post-partum exercising (to commence in about two weeks !)

you may or may not want to skip these upcoming entries…  🙂