For P!nk & My Baby Sister

I’ve been waiting since April for Sunday night. Writing that sentence made me suddenly realize that if I’d actually gone through with taking my life a few weeks ago then my seats might’ve been empty that night. Why that didn’t occur to me when I was feeling so lost? I don’t know. You would think that the waste of money alone would’ve at least made me think about postponing my demise. *giggles* Okay, I’ll stop with the morbidity now. It’s just an odd thought that hadn’t occurred to me ’til now.

I guess I should’ve clarified before I went off on a tangent like that. I went to see P!nk in concert on Sunday night. I love her music. I am emotionally attached to so many of her songs. Her music has even seemed to change with me & mirrored some of the life changes I’ve gone through. In her songs, she sings about many things that I’ve had to deal with. Her lyrics are powerful & they touch on everything, troubled childhoods (Family Portrait), inner turmoil (Don’t Let Me Get Me), self-destructive behavior (Ave Mary A), angry break-ups (There you go), loss (Who Knew), destructive love (Please Don’t Leave Me, Long Way to Happy), and so many beautiful songs about the strength required to overcome it all (Conversations with my 13 year old self, Fuckin’ Perfect, Try, Just Give Me A Reason). There are still others that I didn’t mention that are just fun, quirky, or just plain silly.

I was very excited that I was able to buy tickets to see her in concert because she also gives a damn good show. I’m an uber fan so I’ve seen far too many of her performances on TV or on YouTube to have been surprised by anything she did but I still had a wonderful time. My seats weren’t great but the show was at Staples & that place is built to give a decent view regardless of where you sit. I got the best seats that were available (Section 306, Row P). I was lucky enough to sit in a row without any seats in front of me. Yay, for comfortable leg room!

I took my baby Sister Jen with me. I say baby Sister because her & I are 11 years apart & she’ll always be a baby to me. She’s actually 25 years old now & is a Momma to the most adorable little 2 year old boy. Lil Louis’s laugh is so adorable. He can make you cry tears of laughter when you really get him going. Jen & I are so far apart in age that we’re not very close. There’s no bitterness between us but we were raised very differently. My Mom was far more ready to take care of a child when Jen was born. Jen & I also have different fathers. Her father is a monster. I’m thankful that Jen understands my hatred towards that man & I understand enough to accept that Jen does have a bond with the demon. It gets tricky but Jen & I make it work.

I bought my Sister’s ticket for her as a graduation gift. She graduated from college. She got her AA & finished their pharmacy program. She’ll be a pharmacy technician really soon. It makes me proud that she followed in my footsteps even if she went the college way & I went to a trade school. She talks about going further. She’d like to eventually be pharmacist. I told her how hard & expensive that is but I hope she does it. She’s certainly got the drive.

So, I picked my Sister up at around 7p. I’d never been to Staples. I don’t come from a very big sports kind of family so I’ve never been to a Laker’s game. I wanted to get out there early so that I could figure out the whole parking situation ($20 by the way, yikes!). So, I picked my Sister up at 7p. I missed my exit somehow. It wasn’t a big deal to recalculate my route from the next exit but couple that with the traffic of the parking structure & the huge crowd at the door. My anxiety flared up & my hands started to shake some. Staples is HUGE & the concert was sold out. There were so many people! I pulled myself together with a bit of effort & a few drops of sweat. I reminded myself that I was there to have a good time & went to get drinks!

Staples is a beautiful building in a nice part of downtown L.A. We spent too much money on Margaritas ($11.75 each) & I also bought a sweater ($75) as a functional memento to take with me. I was prepared to spend that kind of money but I do these things so rarely that I didn’t even hesitate when I thought about my husband grumbling at the expense. It was quite painful to hand the money over for those drinks. With all that out of the way, my Sister & I wandered around. It’s not often that we’re both dressed up & beautified. It was nice to stand next to my gorgeous little Sister & not feel too much like a frumpy old lady. We were looking good & many pictures were taken. The whole night was such a great opportunity to bond with my Sister. I’m glad that we went together.

We found our seats a little bit after the opening act New Politics started playing. They were a decent band. The drummer is yummy! Apparently, they’re such a new band that they’re not used to playing in such a big venue. It was easy to see that they were really excited to be playing Staples. Before they left the stage, they turned their backs to the crowd to take pictures. It was adorable.

After the opening act performance ended, the clownish MC for P!nk’s show came out into the crowd. He danced & teased people in the seats on the lower level. At one point, the clown licked the head of bald guy in the audience. It was all done in a spotlight & shown on the big screens. I don’t know if the bald guy was planted but he looked a bit annoyed & I thought that MC clown guy better back off. I couldn’t help but imagine that my husband would’ve punched the guy had he’d been chosen for a stunt like that. It made me that much more relieved that my husband was at home. Truth be told, it probably also made me giggle all the more with that in mind.

The show started shortly after. P!nk is a great performer. She did her new stuff, old stuff & lots of stuff in between. Poor woman was sick. She mentioned trying to sing with a lozenge in her mouth. I’ve seen clips of her performances many, many times so I know she’s able to give a little more when she’s feeling better. She still gave a damn good show. I don’t think the average fan would’ve caught on to some of the subtle changes that were made. I’m sure it was done because of her illness. I still had a blast. I sang ’til I was hoarse & danced ’til my feet hurt.

I was too high from the joyous night to be anxious as we fought our way through the enormous crowd to leave. My Sister pretended to get into a limo that was parked nearby, more pictures & giggles were had. There was an icky moment in the pa

rking garage when a guy carried his lady to the car ’cause she was too sloshed to walk herself. He loaded her up in the car & promptly turned around to urinate almost directly in front of my car. Ewwww!

The drive home was peaceful. I was exhausted & starving when I walked in the door. I made myself some Top Ramen, ignored my husband’s annoyed mood, & passed out shortly after slurping my noodles down. I was very grateful that I had the fore thought to request Monday off of work back in April when I bought the Sunday night tickets. Saturday night had already sold out.

My husband held onto his annoyance the following day but I’m learning to separate myself from his nonsensical tantrums. He’s also learning that his fits aren’t getting him anywhere anyway. I won’t run around making myself crazy trying to "make up" for doing NOTHING wrong. He gets over his fits fairly quickly now that he sees he has nothing to gain from them. Now, if I could only teach him that you can catch more bees with honey than vinegar. We could actually be on the right path then but I won’t hold my breath for that one.

I’m finally caught up with reading everyone on here. I think I’ve noted everyone. I’ll say thank you again to everyone who reads, writes & gives such caring support here. Catching up with all my faves was a task in itself considering all the glitches that keep happening around here. I don’t know how many people have actually abandoned OD because of the sad way that it’s been running but I won’t be leaving unless OD dies for good. I have created a Prosebox account with my same name should OD finally flat line. If I was a paying customer, I’d probably be angrier but I’ve always been just one of the free users. It’s not that I never loved this place enough to pay for it because I care & appreciate this place & the people a lot. I just could never figure out a way to pay without my husband finding out about it.

I guess, that’s all I got for now. This is the most that I’ve written in a long while. It felt good to have a voice & coherent thoughts to share. Thanks so much for reading!