Illness

Isn’t it terrific? One should never lie about being poorly because karma comes to bite you in the arse (ass as my american friends would say!).
Last week I told a little fib and went sick from work for a couple of days, in order to accompany a friend to hospital. I had no holidays left and couldn’t risk being turned down for unpaid holiday- wouldn’t get compassionate leave to accompany a friend either. So although feeling a bit guilty I took the sicky option.

 This week I had two Christmas parties to attend… and I was feeling ill for both of them. I wasn’t so bad on Friday and managed to carry on with a brave face; even though I felt terrible I tried to pretend I was fine – I was determined to enjoy it as I had been looking forward to it for such a while and I had paid quite a lot to go to everything, as well as to get my outfits sorted out. All my work colleagues are so bloody self absorbed they didn’t notice – they only noticed I was shit at bowling (not saying I am ever very good but I ain’t THAT bad) and didn’t seem to realise I could barely fling the ball because my arms felt really weedy, like they had no strength in them at all. I then had to eat a three course dinner when my face hurt to even smile let alone open my mouth to put food in it. When I had eaten my dinner ( which I couldn’t do in my usual ‘plate is so clean you could put it back in the cupboard’ fashion) I thought I was going to be ill. I was running on a mixture of Jack Daniels and Dr Beechams. I was sat with some fun people and I did manage to keep up my pretence until I got indoors. When I got home I thought I was going to die…I laid on the sofa and didn’t get up again till the next day.

Saturday

Round 2 of the Christmas parties was yesterday and I seriously considered ringing my friend and telling him I couldn’t go, just stuff the money- but then, I didn’t want to let him down. So I plodded on or should I say teetered, in shoes that were too high for me on a v slippy dance floor. They were pissed off at us when we got there because we forgot our secret santa pressies- nice to see them too! My friend rang his parents to go and pick them up for us before we were devoured by the icy glares of our dinner companions- who then told us not to be so silly as it would cost more for my mates dad in petrol than the actual presents cost… well we knew that!!!!

 I whispered to my friend did he wish that we hadn’t gone and he said yes- in fact he had nearly called me that afternoon to say that very thing!!! It did get better because, as with the day before, I drank in order to hopefully numb the pain in my throat but then it made all my mouth ulcers sting. There were some people I work with at another table and of course they came over and made nuisance of themselves trying to see who I was with, taking pictures and wanting know all about my housemate… he nearly dropped me in it as well regarding my ‘sickness’ from last week and so no doubt I am going to have to explain that at some point… one of them introduced me to her fella and I shook his hand then wished I hadn’t when he went ‘oooh you have a hot hand!’ yes because I am burning up and might keel over any minute you twat!!!!!! 

 The evening did get  a bit better but I told my mate I am never going to one of those meals with that lot again and he said he won’t either. It cost a lot of money for an ok meal and average entertainment. I don’t mean to sound unfair and I know I am a bit blinkered because of being ill but it was a bit poo anyway.

I am not in a good way this week- see what happens when you lie! Well, what happens when I lie.