2/5/18

I went to therapy tonight. I talked a lot about the last few years. Talked about how I deal. I think he’s concerned that I don’t have good outlets. We talked about my activities being too avoidant and passive. Bottling too much up. He asked about how I been supported when I was still with the ex and I had to conclude that I wasn’t. Before we ended he said that I needed to get out more. That I should get together with the league and people from work and do stuff. I have to admit I’m a little intimidated by that. I’m not an extremely social person. And I was married for 13 years. I’m not used to going out with people. I don’t know how to ask. I’m embarrassed to talk about my situation. I don’t want to seem needy.

edna million

February 5, 2018

I don’t know how people do that either – I’ve been with my husband for over 30 years, marriage+ living together, and I have ONE really close friend otherwise. I’m ridiculously introverted, and have often thought that if anything happened to them, I’d end up a crazy hermit cat-lady. It would be so hard to make new friends! But, maybe you don’t have to ask— maybe find groups that are interested in what you are interested in? Or just arrange an after-work thing that seems spontaneous and not like you’re hunting friends?? I don’t think you really should have to explain your situation. Just… pretend to be outgoing? Maybe? We have a new guy in our office who is very extroverted and social and seems to have no problems gathering up people to do stuff with. I think it’s just a matter of saying, Hey, let’s go do.. whatever..!! But it is like this massive secret society.

Green Ink

February 6, 2018

I can relate. I find making friends extremely difficult. I am very lucky that as I have my horse when I moved a couple of years ago I met a lot of people through that. I found that a good way to meet folk was to help out with stuff. People always appreciate an extra pair of hands with things. I coach driving for the disabled and help as a few local events, that’s how I met people.

I make this sound easy, it wasn’t. In the months before I moved here I barely left the house, but a tiny step out of your comfort zone can bring big rewards, I’ve been there and I know.