NoJoMo #7

My heart is feeling rather heavy this morning.  I’m feeling a plethora of emotions- frustrated, angry, discouraged, saddened. Sometimes it seems like bad things always happen to me. Over and over and over again. I try to be this considerate, kind, and generous person but it apparently gets me no where in life. EVER. What is the point in me always following the rules if someone who breaks them is always going to be ahead of the game? What is the point of a clear conscious when it equates to being unable to provide for yourself or your family? WHY ME ALL THE DAMN TIME?!?!

The other day I had mentioned on here how when I first began advertising for my bakery I utilized a free, local website until jealous b*t(h syndrome ensued and I opted to longer advertize at that site as I didn’t want it to affect my business or personal name. While I no longer use that site, I have recently  started utilizing several of the facebook local small business groups that I am a member/admin of.  Once again, people who have a nack for baking come out of the woodwork thinking that this is a way for them to make the big money, and drama ensues. AGAIN. But this time? It gets really ugly.

In Oklahoma there is no cottage law, meaning it is illegal to bake and distribute goods from your personal, home-based kitchen. Because of this, I have been utilizing a leased commercial kitchen so I would be legit. Now, these crazy home-based bakers have taken to calling the health department on each other. Fricken’ crazy considering   they are ALL operating illegally!! Yesterday, in route home, I missed a home as the top was off of my Jeep. I check my voice mail and it is a gentleman- "Hi Brooke! Heard you sell all kinds of sweets. What do you sell? Cakes? Cupcakes? Candies? With the holidays coming up, I’d like to order some sweets from you. Can you call me back?" Red flags immediately went up. First of all, no one EVER asks for Brooke. They always say "is this Sophisticated Sweets." My name is NOT posted on ANY of my business pages. Secondly, it just sounded…off. So, I googled the number and sure enough, it was the Health Department. I immediately contacted the kitchen I lease to let them know that I needed to contact them back and they would probably need to come in for an inspection. The response? I lost my commercial space. The owner was aware of the drama that had been going on with all of these wanna be cake makers and, while they understand inspections are a part of the process, didn’t want the HD in there several times a week because of the catty games these women are playing. After operating the restaurants I have in the past, I fear no inspection. I’m clean, I have all of my certifications, and I.KNOW.MY.SHIT!

I have been looking in to commercial spaces, but the spaces are SO expensive and that does not include the required remodeling or commercial appliances. I know the location zone I want…but I just cannot afford this. I considered leasing another commercial space, but it was SO difficult to locate the one I had!! I am so discouraged.  I have let my clients know that I am not taking orders until further notice. I have all these orders through the holidays, and if I cannot find a kitchen will need to cancel them. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like whenever I am making progress something happens to put me steps upon steps behind. I cannot afford the risk of working out of my home- if I get caught, that is a massive fine.

Maybe I just dream too big. Maybe I need to accept the innevitable. I just don’t know!!!