NoJoMo #3

What a week this has been! Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, seemed to go in my favor this week. Monday thru Today- it’s like a black cloud is hanging over my head. Monday was by far the worst and now it is merely annoying and slightly humorous.

Monday morning I had a house to clean but really couldn’t get going until the late morning/early afternoon as  the electric was pending connection. I decided to lollygag around the house and knock out the abundance of paperwork I had piling up on the 5 properties I am working on closing through ReMax.  At about 10am I  finished up my paperwork and decided to hit the shower and head to town, thinking if the electric wasn’t on I’d hit the ‘bucks. As I was climbing out of the shower I heard a knock on the door. I contemplated not answering it, as my elderly neighbor LOVES to come over and talk. For hours. I opted to throw on a robe, a towel wrapped around my wet hair, as the cable company was working on lines outside our home and thought maybe they needed me to move my Jeep. By the time I get back to the door, a gentleman is walking away and I holler out "can I help you?" He turns around, walks up to me, flashes a badge, and asks if I am B.S—-. I tentatively answer yes and he informs me that he is a bounty hunter and I have been accused of jumping  bond and am under arrest. He flashes me paperwork and an ID- I didn’t even know how to respond. The only thing I can think of is "Now? Can I at least change?" He says yes and asks if we have weapons in the house. I tell him yes, but they are locked in a safe. He proceeds to tell me that he cannot allow me to shut the door and he will need to come in the house. I couldn’t think at all and just stepped to the side, requesting that I be able to contact my husband before I changed. I call Martin, who is flipping out and demanding me not to go with the man and he wanted to speak with him. I pass over the phone and head to my bedroom to change wondering what in the hell was going on!! The guy is rushing me and yelling and just being a complete ass. He hands the phone back to me and M informs me not to go anywhere with him, to stall, and he’ll be there ASAP. So, I lollygagged as this man just yelled and was all rude and nasty. M barely arrived in time and as soon as I saw him I start sobbing my eyes out crying. The guy is rude at first but as I continue to cry (and cry, and cry, and cry) he gets nicer, and nicer, and nicer. Apparently M knows him from when he was a paramedic many moons ago. As they talk, and I continue to cry, the guy informs us that normally people get pissed off if they are in the wrong, and this is apparently not the case- he gives us until 5pm to rectify the situation. M tells me to get in the truck so we can go to town and see what the hell is going on. I cry and cry some more. Come to find out it was all a HUGE mistake, but the wheels were in motion. I had already cried myself in to a migraine, thinking I did something horrible and didn’t realize it, and it was already 2pm so half my day was shot. M drops me off at home so I can get going. I change, grab my purse, and realize $20 is missing out of my wallet. Wth? I had it in my bedroom the night prior. I stuck it in my hoodie pocket, walked to the laundry basket, put the laundry in the washer, and went to my purse to put my money in the wallet. All of the money was folded up, the $20 on the outside. All of the money was there with the exception of the $20. I still haven’t found that bastard.

And then? I went to the house to clean, but didn’t get there until almost 3:30pm due to traffic and long lines at WalMart. I get there, go to bring my stuff in, slip on water, and whap my head on the wall. I try to get up, and I sliced my finger on a screw sticking out of the stairs. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? My head is POUNDING. I ended up saying screw it and call M to see if I can leave my Jeep in the garage of the house I am cleaning, as it is 3 houses up from a friend’s house, and just drive home with him. He says sure, of course. He picks me up, but then gets called to a job site. HOURS LATER, we head hope. At this point it is about 8pm, I haven’t eaten all day, and I forgot to take food out for dinner. I quickly defrost hot links, not my favorite, and cut up potatoes for fries. I burnt the fries. The bread I froze had somehow opened and had freezer burn. I had a hot link and a salad and was in dire need of chocolate that was not in the dang house. I opted for an early bed time.

Tuesday wasn’t as bad. I didn’t realize M needed to be in town super, duper early so had to get up at the butt crack of the butt crack of dawn. D’oh!! I figured this would at least  give me enough hours in the day to finish up the house. Yeah. Right. I managed to barely finish the upstairs in 10 hours it was SO nasty!! Of course it didn’t help that 1- around 11am I was getting really woozy because I hadn’t eaten breakfast and the day prior all I had was that stupid hot link and that bowl of salad and  2- my phone kept ringing. And ringing. And ringing. AGH! I caved and indulged in McDonalds for lunch. I may have my foodie license revoked for saying this, but gosh their McDoubles are the BOMB! I am a huge fan of lettuce and tomatoes on my burgers. Maybe it was just the fact that I was REALLY freakin’ hungry. I think M picked up Little Ceasers for dinner. I honestly don’t even remember.  I don’t even remember if I drove myself home that evening. Wow. Wait- I DID drive myself home that evening as I had to go and pick up items for all of my Halloween orders. I still couldn’t tell you what I had for dinner, but I know it wasn’t pizza. Ha ha. I think I went to bed at, like 9:30am, though. Maybe not. (What DID I have for dinner?) I did pick up The Campaign and that movie was HILARIOUS!

Wednesday- GAH! I was up uber early to knock out all of the baking and creating for my abundance of Halloween orders. Was out the door by 7:30am and began deliveries. Was stressing out while baking and creating- I didn’t buy enough of this, or that, or this…luckily my backstash was able to cover me. Additionally, I was so tired my stomach was sqishie. I hate when that happens. Either way, had a blast delivering the goodies- a lot of humorous responses for the kids I delivered to. That is always fun. 🙂 I was done delivering by 1pm but had a LOT of paperwork to do on the closing properties, so I set up show at a local McDonalds. TWO hours later, I finally head to the house to clean. Good grief! I start to get in my groove when my friend/the realtor renting the property walks in through the garage. About scared the bajeebers out of me! She stuck around for an hour. And then M showed up. AND I got nothing done. Period. SIGH!! At about 5pm I remembered that I had a cupcake order the following morning AND it was Halloween!!

**PAUSE** I had EGGS for dinner on Tuesday!!

<continue Wednesday> We had invites for Halloween but  I was

pooped and wanted to hand out candy to trick or treaters so I hauled butt to buy candy at WalMart, where I was wacked so hard in the calves by a kid, high on sugar pushing a cart, that my knees buckled and I whapped my chin on MY cart which inadvertently bit my tongue. I then began to dry heave, in the middle of WalMart, because I was so disgusted by the taste of blood. Very attractive. I also gave away almost all of my chocolate to kids. So depressing.

Thursday  I had a German chocolate cupcake order. I overslept, but it wasn’t  a biggie because the person wasn’t coming in to town until 11a-12p. I get in to town and head over to the house to begin cleaning. Just as I started to clean, the guy calls and says he is heading to town early to pick up the cupcakes, so I stop. At this point I’m thinking I am NEVER going to get this dang house done. There is a chick on one of the  buy/sell/trade groups I admin on facebook who is always complaining she needs work, etc. I get in touch with her and ask her if she wants to work for about 3-4 hours and make some money. She says yes. Cool- maybe I’ll get this done afterall. Right? WRONG! Seriously…is there anyone that DOES NOT know what a white glove inspection is? I had her start washing walls…she apparently didn’t think that included baseboards, outlet covers, door frames, doors, or window sills. I kept having to tell her and she was oblivious. Then? Instead of sweeping out most of the ashes out of the fireplace, she decided to vacuum them out with my NEW vacuum and jack it up. All through this, my phone keeps ringing because I am having problems with one of our closings AND I am getting orders in for next week. Apparently she thinks that if I am on the phone she doesn’t have to work.  I’m getting ticked off, turn around, hit a glass refrigerator shelf with my elbow, it falls to the floor, and shatters…in to a million, billion little pieces. Are you freakin’ kidding me? I’m stressed, I’m on the phone, lazy girl is talking, talking, talking, but not cleaning, cleaning, cleaning and I am about 5 seconds away from flipping the hell out. Does ANYONE have any decent work ethics anymore? She starts saying, "what now? what next?" She is texting away on her phone instead of working. She has been there less than 2 hours and she is already acting like she wants to go. I tell her to clean the bathroom- to include the mirror, toilet, sink, walls, cabinets, baseboards, etc. 5 minutes later she is done. 5 minutes???????? It normally takes me 30-60 minutes for a bathroom.  She asks what’s next. I tell her to vacuum around all of the baseboards with the attachment and then the center of the floor like normal so I can 1- shampoo carpets and 2- mop tiles.  (I had already washed out and fixed the vacuum). She vacuums for 5 minutes. I hear the vacuum go off and she tells me she’d rather use the broom. Whatever. (Comes to find out, she pulled the chord out of the wall, and jacked up the plug to the vacuum.) She sweeps two rooms and then asks me what’s next. She didn’t sweep the entry way, bathroom, closets, hallways, kitchen, or dining room. I flip my shit.  I start going off on this chick about how she complains she doesn’t have any money to do this, this, and this but apparently she isn’t hungry because she obviously isn’t willing to work to earn more money. I hadn’t told her how much I was going to pay her, but had planned on $10/hour. I gave her  minimum wage for the time she was there and informed her that she was lucky she was getting that. She then had the audacity to tell me if I ever needed her again to just call. I almost strangled the woman. I told her to get off the property and wait up the road for her ride. What is wrong with people??

After she left I had to re-do almost EVERYTHING she did! I called M and was bawling my eyes out, I was so mad. It didn’t help that we were supposed to meet friends for dinner/drinks at 6pm and I had really wanted to go home, shower, and change. I have went months with two pair of pants and two shirts. The other weekend I hit this awesome consignment store and got ALL NAME BRAND CLOTHES, some with tags- 10 shirts and a pair of pants, for $78! I also went and bought 2 pair of jeans and 1 more shirt from JC Penny’s, all on sale. After not having any clothes to wear, I was excited to actually get dressed up and that didn’t pan out. GAH!! M came out to help me finish up, but I still didn’t have the time to change. Grrrr!!! (Did I mention how this lady messages me how nice it was to meet me and she is glad to have a new friend, ie ME? Obviously she isn’t the brightest bulb.)

The dinner and drinks went well! It was all older people- two of them were 78 (but act like they are 45) and the other was 60 and then Martin and I. We had a really, really great time!! Funny thing is, the conversation went to my MIL. We were talking about how evil my MIL can be and M said it was my fault for never saying anything. The next thing I know, all the other 3 were saying that it was kind of awesome that I didn’t fight back. My MIL likes to be in control and, by me not responding to her petty BS, I am taking the control from her. That was such a great way to look at it!!

Friday- had an early morning delivery. Decided that, since I didn’t have to clean, I’d get all spiffed up and even did my hair to wear it down. Got in to town at 6:30a only for the person to ask me to come around lunchtime. WHAT?? Went to my next delivery and…sprinklers came on as I was delivering. Good bye hairstyle!!

 

Okay. I am getting boring. I need a drink! Maybe I’ll be back to finish this. (maybe not.)