Wired/Weird

So, Mat has gone to England for the weekend for his friend’s stag do. Before he went he was like "Uhhh, you totally shouldn’t smoke any weeeed, ’cause we’re getting some next weekeeeeend." To which I agreed. Then I realise that his mate in England, Russ, is a massive stoner and a lot of what they’re likely to get up to will involve getting high. So I texted him and was like "You told me not to smoke, so you totally can’t either!" and he was all like "Uhhhh, you can smoke if you want." WHATEVER. I said NO and told him to lay off ’cause there’s plenty of beer and he can’t go round telling me what not to do then go do it himself!

Wow, what an interesting story.

So, for the weekend, I am very alone. I am probably the worst person in the world at being  physically alone. I mean, leave me by myself for an hour or two and I’m fine, but any longer and I am just lost. It’s so dumb, I go immediately depressed and melancholy and I constantly watch the clock, waiting for bedtime ’cause sleep passes time faster than being depressed does. Psh! Even writing what I have so far has only taken all of FIVE MINUTES.

Seriously,I have no idea how people manage to live alone. I would just like, immediately kill myself. Not because living alone is lame, just because I simply can not deal with it. Like, my mind is such a retard, this is what happens when I’m alone:

*sees sink is dirty; cleans it*

*stares at clean sink*

*thinks* Well, the sink is clean, may as well kill myself now.

…

THIS STUPID THOUGHT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I FINISH ANY TASK. It’s like, hmmm, gone to the toilet, got nothing to do now except kill myself! I don’t even have some sort of suicidal plan, it’s just this thought that constantly pops into my head when I’m alone, in a really matter-of-fact way. WEIRD AND RETARDED.

I also feel kind of sorry for people who read this, because my entries are all "Why do I suck?!" when I think the answer is probably obvious. 

I have this comment flying around my head from the other day and I can’t quite figure it out…. Here’s what happened.

I was getting a ride home with Laura and she asked me what i was having for tea that night. I told her about this stupid tortellini that has been sitting in our fridge for almost two weeks and how Mat and I developed this irrational hatred for it. I mean, we usually like it fine, we’ll have it with pasta sauce and cheese and whatnot so it was normal for us to buy it, but every time we looked in the fridge we were just like "Awwww I don’t want that fucking tortellini!" until it got to the point where we’d open the fridge, see that damned pasta and be like "FUCK YOU TORTELLINI, I HATE YOU." and Laura said "Oh Rose, only you!!"

And I don’t quite get it. I mean, is she like "Only you would be weird enough to do that!" ‘Cause that’s kinda my conclusion but then I was thinking, it can’t be THAT weird a story, I mean, this kind of thing happens all the time. I keep accidentally saying ‘Thanks’ to cash machines, or getting angry ’cause some cereal spilled itself on PURPOSE. Like, am I just a bit weird like everyone or is that WEIRD WEIRD?

I dunno.

Oop, finished the entry, may as well go kill myself! LOL.

lol?