10/18/05

I miss the past. I miss how simple things use to be. I miss the fact that just 2 months ago I didn’t have to want or need for anything. For the first time I could walk into a store and either buy what I wanted or wonder…what’s left to buy? I have everything.

I miss when Kasi use to come home and I just wanted to see her. I miss that we use to get along and we could love each other without limits.

Everything just feels so damn difficult and I honestly don’t know how much I can take.

I’m so tired of hearing from everyone that you are never given more than you can handle. HA! I’m so sick of hearing that shit. I’ve been through more in 5 years than I think is healthy. Rape, loss of a baby, abused and abusing someone that I love. Losing an already non existant relationship with my mother and now on the verge of losing the person I’ve been with for 2 years.

I don’t know how to even think clearly anymore. Blah!…