Blah

So all the surgeries have gone well. I’ve been discharged to go back to work, but with only 1 car I am left looking for another job once again since they don’t have a Kinkos in Houma.

I hate being here. I hate being here with a passion. I’m tired of being optimistic. I’ve gone on serveral interviews and I’ve tried to get another car but shit just isn’t working right now.

I’m so freakin aggrivated with everything.

Kasi and I hardly get along. I don’t want to touch her or be touched. I don’t want to love on her or even kiss and I straight up told her yesterday that I wasn’t attracted to her anymore.

I feel bad…but I’m so stressed that I’m not thinking about anything else right now other than the fact that I might have to move back to Bakersfield just to work and I really dont’ want to.

I’ve been crying for like 3 days now. I called my mom the other day just to talk to her cause I was so upset and just wanted to hear her voice. We are still not talking. And I don’t plan on being the one to try to get ahold of her.

Life sucks right now. I know everyone keeps saying *At least you have your life* fuck that. I’d rather be dead righ tnow than have nothing. No car, no job, no money, no house, no clothes nothing.

I have my dog and he’s great….but I really just don’t want to be here. I’ve tried being strong and it seems like the more I keep my head up, the more I keep positive, the more that bad shit happens.

Ugh..fuck it all. I’m in the worst mood of my life.