Doctor’s Office Called

 The doctors office called. Of course they only left a message and I have no idea what they have to say. They called not once but twice today. The message simply says "Tyler this is Meg from Dr. L’s office. Please call me back." Or something very similar to that. I’m sure they are calling because they have the results back for the semen analysis. But they weren’t suppose to call. The doctor specifically told me to call two days after the test to schedule an appointment to get the results. I’ve scheduled the appointment already for Thursday. So does that mean there is something drastically wrong? Or does it mean its all perfect?  And I know Ty’s name is on the test but why call for him as he will have no idea what they are talking about when they start rambling about motility and morphology and mobility and all that. He’s the LAST person to explain to. So again does the call mean its good or bad? And to call twice? I’m lucky if they ever call with results and always have to call. Ugh. The nurse wasn’t the normal nurse though so maybe she is clueless & the normal nurse is on vacation or something?  So now the question is should Ty call tomorrow & see what they want. Or should I just stick with plan a and go to my appointment as scheduled? Ugh. I’d like to know tomorrow but no matter what they say Ty will be confused and if its something negative it’ll be much easier if I can somewhat sugar coat it then if a nurse simply says his shit doesn’t swim or something. And I’d rather have the doctor explain during an appointment so I can ask my millions of questions and get a copy of the numbers for doctor google vs a nurse quickly telling results over the phone. So, I guess plan a makes the most sense. We will see if Ty calls them back tomorrow though. Either way I’ll probably just keep the appointment for all my questions. 

Of course I’m super stressed and nervous and keep thinking all te worst case scenarios. I guess I’m just stuck on the fact they called twice in one day which is abnormal. Maybe this new doctor is just much more efficient and caring. 

Still temping. The last few days look like a damn roller coaster. OPK shipping says they will be here Friday. Maybe I’ll luck out and they will come Thursday. 

Have I mentioned my job sucks when it comes to TTC?  I’m slowly getting really tired of dealing with pregnant people that are complete idiots. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why it’s so easy for them toget knocked up repeatedly. And why they feel like the government should be required to pay for their babies? There’s so many that abuse the system. And I’m really tired of little babies being shoved in my face. It’s getting harder to be nice. My newest response is simply "yep, looks like a baby". Once upon a time I enjoyed looking at babies. That was before I accepted its impossible for me to make my Own. Hell, this all seemed easier before the doctor mentioned that damn "infertility" word. Before I read that word on paper as I dropped off the sample. Yes, denial was easier. It was easier to convince myself that 4 1/2 years of trying didn’t mean we had infertility it just meant I somehow had bad timing, even when I knew my timing was perfect. I’m sure if I was broke, with no insurance and no job & went to the bar to have a one night stand I’d be knocked up instantly. That’s the way babies are made. Isn’t it? Sure seems like it. 

Sigh. I should go tan and try to get that answering machine out of my mind. Just 39 hours and I’ll be sitting in the doctors office getting results. That’s not THAT far away.