losing him….

Well lets see here. I actually spent time with my family today! *insert shocked face here* lol. I bought the dvd Diary of a Mad Black Woman today. I also put aside some money to start saving for Ichthus next year. Yay! Arent you proud of me Deb? Anyway they all loved the movie. I’ve seen it before when it came out in theaters with my cuz. I loved it so I had to have it. I saw my mom cryin. hehe. My cuz and I bawled in the theaters. lol. It was real family time. Woo hoo!

Now Im just sitting here. Talkin to Sean and Deb. Great company lemme tell ya. Where would I be without my loving friends?  Speaking of which, I have been in a surprisingly good mood nowdays. I guess its because Ive been surrounded by so many people who act like they actually care about me and appreciate me. Its a beautiful feeling. And also I have been slowly but surely gettin back into reading my bible and such, spending time with God. Yay! I’m finally coming back around. And I owe Deb, Ben, and Hollie many thanks for that. They are truly an inspiration and wonderful friends. I love you all so much.

Last night my bro stayed up with me and watched Underworld until about 15 til 3. We stumbled upon taquitos.net browsing around online. Its a snack review site and they have snacks from all around the world. Some of the reviews were hilarious. My bro and I laughed so hard at the reviews it was pitiful. lol. We have a odd brand of humor and it doesnt take much to amuse us. Sad huh? Anyway after my bro left and went to bed, Ben texted me and we talked until 4 in the morning. No surprise there huh? Its really nice when there is someone out there who genuinely enjoys your company. Unless he’s crazy and puts up with me for entertainment. lol. Anyway, that girl he’s been stuck on called him last night out of the blue. She hasnt talked to him in months at the least. *cue my jealousy* Yes I get jealous. Im human. And yes I’ve always known he was stuck on her and had no feelings whatsoever for me. So I dont know why I am trippin. Someone come and slap me please? Anyway I told him I was happy for him since he’s happy. And I am in a sense. I just hope she doesnt hurt him again. If she does, she will be annihalated (sp?) lol. The only thing that scares me is that I’ll lose him as a friend. As soon as she walks back into his life, he will forget all about me and I’ll lose yet another guy friend. Thats how it always goes. He’s one I would like to keep around. He’s so encouraging and easy to talk to and he’s become such a close friend so quickly. *sighs* I know I have no control over this but it’ll hurt if we lost touch just the same. I guess I still havent learned my lesson about gettin close/attached to people. I try not to but sometimes I cant help it. *shrugs* I guess all I can do is pray and keep him close to my heart. Just like I hold everyone else close to me thats come in and out of my life. One of my downfalls.

Anyway this is getting depressing, so I’ll quit this while I’m still ahead. I love you all and God bless. *lots of hugs and kisses*