01/13/2013

So yeah.

I still miss Ginger. I still listen for her back in the morning or when I come home for work and then I realize she’s not going to bark bc she’s not here and it starts all over again. It stinks. I miss her all the time. Midge is trying to take her place I know. She is all of a sudden my dog. She sits on the couch with me and follows me around. As much as I love her – I loved Ginger more.

I told Kim that I’d wait until I was done with school but when I find that dog.. the one that I know is for me .. we are getting it. No questioning it. If she fits in she will be here. I want a boston terrier or another little naked dog. I know I’ll never find a dog like Ginger.

I made it through my first week of classes. It’s going to be strange not being home until after 9 twice a week. It’s going to be interesting trying to figure out how to work 40 hours a week, go to class, and find time to do homework.. and find time for Kim and life. I know that there are people all over the world doing this .. and doing more.. but it’s new for me.

I’ve also been having very strange dreams that leave me .. angry and sad. I’m trying to not really let it affect me.. bc .. its only dreams. Its not real. The feelings still linger though. I don’t understand it.

Sometimes I’m just plain sad – for no reason.

I have this good life.. I need to learn to enjoy and stop being so afraid of life.

I wish I wasn’t so uncomfortable all the time. I wish I could just be.

I did go to a friend of Kim’s today – we watched the Falcon’s game and I did enjoy it. That’s a big thing for me. I’m always so uncomfortable. It drives me insane.

Maybe that’s whats really wrong with me…