And in other news…

I am leading (chairing) my first Coda meeting tonight.  We all take turns, and my number was up.  It’s slightly fitting, since this is also my anniversary with Spike – we’ve been talking now officially for 2 months, been together for one.  It seems like so much longer, and at the same time, our first Date feels like yesterday, and I still remember it – all of it – so very clearly.  I really need to go back and revisit that place, although I am sad that “our” borders is closing.  It’s the first time/place I ever saw her, and despite the fact that we both ruined each other’s plans with our early arrivals, the thought of it still makes me smile.

            So I’m a little nervous about the meeting, but I know it’s not a big deal.  Also, in April, I have my first convention that I have to go to as the representative from our little group in the CODA Intergroup.  I’m excited about that.  It’s for a few hours on a Saturday, not sure where yet, but I’m looking forward to going and representing my little extended family that has become a very real and wonderful part of my life in the past 7 months or so.  It’s a real honor, and a great opportunity for growth and awareness, so I’m happy to do it.

            The fourth step, in all of its terrible glory is moving along nicely.  I buckled down yesterday and knocked out some of the first chart, and some of the questions we have to answer.  It’s a hard process to go through, which requires remembering a lot of past hurts, past mistakes and past emotions, but its something I have to work through in order to be granted the ability to fully embrace the future.  And that’s what my life is like these days.  I feel like I’m dancing through the present, catching glimpses of this bright and shining future that I can’t quite touch – but I can see it, and it’s there, very real and very tangible.  I just have more growing to do before I can get there.

I think I’ve come up with a great idea for April Fool’s day for Spike. I  unfortunately had to scrap my first few ideas when they didn’t work out the way I had anticipated, but this little, tiny joke of a thing should be amusing.  Then, at the end of April, I will be traveling to Michigan for 6 days to see my best friend graduate from college.  It will be good to get away for a short time, revisit the woods where I first began my real awakening.  I look forward to long conversations, complete dorkiness and bonding time.  And I am so very proud of her.

Not much else to report.  I still feel like I have a bunch of people in stilettos doing the Macarena in my stomach, but I can deal with it.  It’s better than the battle of Gettysburg that was being waged in my lower intestinal area for most of yesterday.  The lack of cannons is a good thing, and the dancers seem to at least have a steady beat.

All’s quiet on the home front at the moment.  I’d like to keep it that way.