for now *e*

for now, we’re holding on
not by a string and a prayer
but by quiet assurances, by long conversations
and pinky swears past midnight.
You have no doubt in a joint future,
families and children,
telling stories around thanksgiving dinner tables
and discussing intricate possibilities.
You say you’re more certain than ever,
that nothing’s going to change the reality of what is
this love.
I’ve had long walks on the beach with my fear,
and it’s a houseguest that is unaware when
to take its leave.
Maybe tea would help.
Just know, that through the ups and downs,
reminders that it’s only been a handful of days,
not a consistancy,
yes. I’m here.
there are no decision to be made, rather than
what’s for dinner tomorrow,
weekend plans
and future dreams.
For now, that’s enough.

It’s time for me to stop fearing what may be –
to stop trying to control an outcome
and enjoy what is.
You love me. NO matter what.
And you are certain it will not change
now, or ever.

I have no reason to not believe.
It’s time to revist that tree,
now a seedling.
share in the water and sunlight
to remember.

And…the best advice I need to hear right now “stop expecting to get hurt. When you have something so different, how can you even begin to compare it to anything else. You cannot control outcomes. Just take it as it comes, and it will get better. You’re okay”