pre-April Flash Challenge #7

to conquer death, you only have to die – haredawg

I was going to die. It was inevitable. They told me so. Down to the last hour, the last minute – but in those moments, who knew which one of them would see my last breath, my last scream, my last plea – no. I wouldn’t plea for mercy. That’s what happens when you condemn guilty criminals, heretics – not innocent people. Maybe I wasn’t innocent. I loved. Loved the wrong person, apparently. But how could I resist her? Ironic as it may be to meet your love in prison where you are already standing trial for witchcraft – it happened. And here we were…ready to die together to prove our love. Or our guilt. Our necessity.

By an even crueler twist of fate, our love was to be put on an even more public display than normal. Rather than the mass executions of others, we were to be burned one at a time – I had to watch you die, first. You would be the conqueror, then. Not me. I think the pain of that was worse than the actual death itself, to me.

They came and got you early, that morning. I thought we would have more time. I stared at each other across that dingy room, tears in our eyes, the chains we were bound to making it impossible for us to touch. We had touched once, only briefly as we were brought past each other – one going in, one going out. But the stories you told me…I told you then that they set my insides on fire. Now my outsides were going to match. You didn’t put up a fight. I think I struggled more than you, being dragged along behind you, staring at your bare feet, watching you tremble. I didn’t want to show fear, but it was inevitable.

I want to say I don’t remember much, watching you executed. It would be a lie. I never lied to you. Not once. Not in three years, in prison. Your last words were a simple “i love you” before the fire was lit. And had I been guilty of the one of the crimes I had been convicted of, i would have sheltered you from that fire. Put it out. Something. But your eyes never left mine as I got a heartwrenching explosive preview of the fate in store for me. I don’t know if you spoke it aloud or not, but I saw my name on your lips. The crackling of the flames were too high, too loud – and then I couldn’t see you at all. You didn’t scream. Didn’t beg. You went, quietly. And as soon as you were gone, a cloud emerged overhead, looming and dangerous looking. It took a long time for your body to burn. Before it was finished, they were ready for me.

They lead me to the stake, my feet receiving a splinter from one of the piles of wood I was lead over instead of around. What was the difference, right? Seems funny that that splinter seriously upset me. They chained me to that piece of wood, my hands still free, piling brush around my feet. I tried to keep still, keep steady. I wanted to at least be as brave as you were. But anyone could see my legs shaking. My mouth was set in a resolute line and my eyes were burning already with a different kind of fire. The priest gave his usual speech. I don’t remember a word of it. I was asked if I wanted to confess and receive the blessing of a merciful death by strangling as the fire was lit. No. I would not betray you. I was innocent, and would hardly confess to something I had not done. I said simply, “if it be a crime to love as deeply, as purely and as chastely as I have done with thee, then thy punishment be against love – not me” The priest was left seething, his angry, red, blotchy face pulling close to mine

“i’m going to watch you burn witch”. It was the only moment where I felt the tears come. I was numb as you died. But had I been a witch, could have saved you. I would have died for you, whether you wished it or not. I wish I had been. Little did I know:

you were.

The fire was lit, the air instantly heating around me. I stood resolute and afraid – but determined to show fearlessness in the face of my tormentors. The black cloud still lingering close to the ground above the square moved. shifted. I felt myself watching it, waiting for the pain to join the terror. It condensed around me, and then…

your voice. I heard your voice “I’m sorry, love…I didn’t tell you. I love you…i’m here…I will put out the fire before it reaches you…they’ll not touch you” I recovered from my stunned silence quickly enough.

“no.”

“Why? Do you want to die this way? Do you want them to win?”

“they cannot win, my love. They have given us an eternity together, rather than a mere lifetime. And what is my life, without you?”

The only way to conquer death, is to die. And the only way to cheat it is to have hope for what comes after.