And in other news…
I am leading (chairing) my first Coda meeting tonight. We all take turns, and my number was up. It’s slightly fitting, since this is also my anniversary with Spike – we’ve been talking now officially for 2 months, been together for one. It seems like so much longer, and at the same time, our first Date feels like yesterday, and I still remember it – all of it – so very clearly. I really need to go back and revisit that place, although I am sad that “our” borders is closing. It’s the first time/place I ever saw her, and despite the fact that we both ruined each other’s plans with our early arrivals, the thought of it still makes me smile.
So I’m a little nervous about the meeting, but I know it’s not a big deal. Also, in April, I have my first convention that I have to go to as the representative from our little group in the CODA Intergroup. I’m excited about that. It’s for a few hours on a Saturday, not sure where yet, but I’m looking forward to going and representing my little extended family that has become a very real and wonderful part of my life in the past 7 months or so. It’s a real honor, and a great opportunity for growth and awareness, so I’m happy to do it.
The fourth step, in all of its terrible glory is moving along nicely. I buckled down yesterday and knocked out some of the first chart, and some of the questions we have to answer. It’s a hard process to go through, which requires remembering a lot of past hurts, past mistakes and past emotions, but its something I have to work through in order to be granted the ability to fully embrace the future. And that’s what my life is like these days. I feel like I’m dancing through the present, catching glimpses of this bright and shining future that I can’t quite touch – but I can see it, and it’s there, very real and very tangible. I just have more growing to do before I can get there.
I think I’ve come up with a great idea for April Fool’s day for Spike. I unfortunately had to scrap my first few ideas when they didn’t work out the way I had anticipated, but this little, tiny joke of a thing should be amusing. Then, at the end of April, I will be traveling to Michigan for 6 days to see my best friend graduate from college. It will be good to get away for a short time, revisit the woods where I first began my real awakening. I look forward to long conversations, complete dorkiness and bonding time. And I am so very proud of her.
Not much else to report. I still feel like I have a bunch of people in stilettos doing the Macarena in my stomach, but I can deal with it. It’s better than the battle of Gettysburg that was being waged in my lower intestinal area for most of yesterday. The lack of cannons is a good thing, and the dancers seem to at least have a steady beat.
All’s quiet on the home front at the moment. I’d like to keep it that way.
You’ll do fine.
Warning Comment
You’ll do fine.
Warning Comment
ryn; Heh, maybe it’s cause we have the same faulty wiring.
Warning Comment
ryn; Heh, maybe it’s cause we have the same faulty wiring.
Warning Comment
ahaha, I just got out of a meeting that made me feel that way. The after wasn’t as bad, anticipating it was worse than enduring it. stress stress stress! Yours will be over soon too! r, yes, they’re about 4 inches long, and they’re black or olive green/brown, but they look just like minilobsters.
Warning Comment
ahaha, I just got out of a meeting that made me feel that way. The after wasn’t as bad, anticipating it was worse than enduring it. stress stress stress! Yours will be over soon too! r, yes, they’re about 4 inches long, and they’re black or olive green/brown, but they look just like minilobsters.
Warning Comment
RYN: Well, you’re right that it’s ultimately none of my business. However, I care about her and her kids, and I would feel terrible if the Big Idea fails and she’s quit her job and has nothing to fall back on, and I never challenged her on it. In another economy, if jobs were falling off trees, I might not be so concerned. So, I have to at least bring it up: Can you do your job and managethe Big Idea at the same time? If so, you should try. She may not like her job very much, but it is steady. And if after that, she decides she still wants to quit, well, then at least I’ve fulfilled what I think is my responsibility as a friend.
Warning Comment
RYN: Well, you’re right that it’s ultimately none of my business. However, I care about her and her kids, and I would feel terrible if the Big Idea fails and she’s quit her job and has nothing to fall back on, and I never challenged her on it. In another economy, if jobs were falling off trees, I might not be so concerned. So, I have to at least bring it up: Can you do your job and managethe Big Idea at the same time? If so, you should try. She may not like her job very much, but it is steady. And if after that, she decides she still wants to quit, well, then at least I’ve fulfilled what I think is my responsibility as a friend.
Warning Comment
ryn; thank you, i really appreciate that. C
Warning Comment
ryn; thank you, i really appreciate that. C
Warning Comment
RYN: One thing I’m painfully aware of is that the most I can do for her is offer my opinion. I cannot force her to do anything. I don’t think I’m trying to be controlling. Perhaps. But even if I am, the real control I have … well, there isn’t any. Anyway, thanks for the note.
Warning Comment
RYN: One thing I’m painfully aware of is that the most I can do for her is offer my opinion. I cannot force her to do anything. I don’t think I’m trying to be controlling. Perhaps. But even if I am, the real control I have … well, there isn’t any. Anyway, thanks for the note.
Warning Comment
you should come visit me! you’ll only be about a couple states away! lol just kidding! but if you want to i’ll be here! lol hope you have fun! ~ rae
Warning Comment
you should come visit me! you’ll only be about a couple states away! lol just kidding! but if you want to i’ll be here! lol hope you have fun! ~ rae
Warning Comment