10 lists and still dreaming
Part One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
1) You always make me laugh, mostly at myself, but sometimes you allow me to laugh at you too. Its appreciated.
2) I kinda like you a lil bit
3) I hate that you’re so far away, when years have separated us long enough already.
4) You are a mad genius and you always inspire me. Always.
5) I couldn’t have asked for a better friend, and what I appreciate most out of you is your devotion to tell me the truth, even when its not a truth I want to hear
6) Thank you for showing me the lifeline – you didn’t yank me out of that pit. You just showed me the rope and told me to climb it myself. Without that, I never would have believed I could.
7) I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I wish I did. I want to help, and I care about you greatly. It hurts to see you hurting
8) You know, its strange that I miss you when “our” time was chaotic and strange. But when I think of it, or you, I still smile about it. Despite the crazy it turned into
9) Thank you for my daily dose of snark at work, when I sometimes can’t stand it anymore
10) I try not to regret much. But the further away I get, the more I realize that while its true I learned a lot, and I don’t know if I would have ever found my way amid the wreckage of what happened – I regret you.
Part Two: Nine things about yourself.
1) I’m still not perfect. Consider it a work in progress
2) I want to find and stare at every imaginable shade of blue
3) I randomly find one beautiful thing, every single day that I can appreciate – even when no one else will notice
4) I hope for too much, I think. But if I wasn’t full of big dreams and big hopes, I’d never get the big rewards, would I?
5) I think too much. This is both a positive and negative thing.
6) I’m exceedingly good at what I do. Which is to flutter around behind the scenes and be difficult to notice. I’m okay with that.
7) I’ve found happiness all by myself. It took me 32 years. I am devoting the next 32 or so to learning to hold onto it, cherish it and share it with others.
8) I’m not a morning person
9) I’d still take jelly bellies over just about anything else, any day of the week.
Part Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
1) Try. Its a lot easier said than done
2) Telling me I’m special is nice – but showing me is better
3) Make me laugh
4) Surprise me.
5) Quote things to me that I want to remember
6) Challenge me, make me think and discuss things with me over coffee
7) Play with me. I really am just a big kid at heart
8) Say what you mean, and mean what you say. I’m not good at games or guessing anymore.
Part Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1) Perception vs reality
2) The nature of absolutes
3) Writing, and Ideas for writing
4) Future dreams and plans to make them happen
5) The beauty of nature and natural magic
6) Desperately trying to remember what I know I forgot
7) Balance, and how to find it – in everything
Part Five: Six things you wish you could do over
… You know… This is kinda hard and I try not to live with regrets. I believe everything happens for a reason, and if everything hadn’t happened exactly the way it did, I wouldn’t be here now, the person I am, or the person I’m becoming. So I boycott this question.
Part Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
You all know who you are. Honestly.
Part Seven: Four turn-offs.
1) Ignorance
2) Hypocrisy
3) Lying
4) Bigotry
Part Eight: Three turn-ons.
1) Humor
2) Intelligence
3) A good smirk or a good smile – any time
Part Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
1) The tide coming in and waves curling up the beach. I experienced this last friday and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. For me, its representative of my life now because its two worlds colliding – ocean and shore. Its learning to start all over again and challenge what I think I know, to change my perception, change my reality.
2) The constellations – all of them; I’ll never stop dreaming, never. I may be a realist, or even a pessimist at times but I will always be a dreamer. The stars make me remember that maybe not all dreams come true, but some do. None will if you stop dreaming completely.
Part Ten: One confession.
I’m sometimes not as strong as I would like to believe. But I can be. I’ll always be working towards “better” but I’m not going to stop appreciating the now I have to go through to get there.