the fog is lifting

What would I do without all my lovely noters?! Thanks so much guys for your lovely notes after my seriously depressed last entry.  You’re all fab and tomorrow, I promise, I’m going to get back to everyone and catch up with everyone’s diaries!

The baby blues are lifting. I still have worries but I no longer feel swamped. I’ve found a solution of sorts to my feeding worries. I’ve got an electric pump and I’m expressing round the clock (every 3 hours). I’m then storing all my expressed milk in the fridge and feeding it to him in a bottle. At the mo I have plenty so he’s getting lots of big feeds. That’s in the day. At night, we’re doing formula. I still feel vaguely guilty about that (God, I don’t even know why….I blame the media, midwifes, etc….). I also started trying to get him to latch on to my boob again today. We’re not really getting anywhere but at least I’m trying!

Once I made the decision to throw away the nipple shield, I felt a zillion times better. I swear it caused my mastitis. And feeding was horrible with it. Expressing every feed is hard work but for now, it will do nicely. I’m going to go to a local breastfeeding support group on Friday to ask for help with latching, but to be honest, I don’t know if William will ever latch on. He’s got so used to the bottle now!

I still have worries-eg expressing is obviously not the same as a baby’s mouth, so will my supply be able to keep up with his demands? How will I keep up this expressing rigmarole when I’m out for the day? etc etc. But I’m just taking it a day at a time.

Mike went back to work today, but I’ve managed to kick ass and do everything all by myself! He was so sad to go back-he’s completely smitten with William, and proving to be an amazing dad. I knew he would be!

Well I’m off to express again-woohoo!!!

lots of love happycookie and William xxxxxxxxxxxx