Breast is best BUT……
*I’ve just re-added the pic from the last entry-should be there now!*
Thanks everyone for your lovely notes. Am going to do a big catch up sesh with my favourites etc later on today-feeling more on top of things now!
Well, William is 11 days old and doing great! Here’s what’s happened in his first 11 days of life….
1. On day 2 he got moderately severe jaundice-that’s why we had to stay in hospital for 4 nights. At 3 weeks early, it was probably inevitable he would get jaundice-it’s so common-but I found it heartbreaking cos every time they had to check his jaundice ‘level’ they had to take blood from his heel. 
My lowest moment was on Sunday afternoon (day after he was born) when the paeditrician (sp?) had to take blood from a tiny vein on his arm cos he couldn’t get enough from his heel. I was in FLOODS of tears-it was horrendous.
Anyway- he had to have phototherapy which basically was a bed with ultraviolet light. It worked really well. 
He also had to have 3 hourly feeds to flush the jaundice out of his system. More about that in a mo….By Tuesday I was absolutely climbing the walls, desperate to go home. The hospital was nice but I was stuck in a cubicle surrounded by other mums and babies and it was hot and noisy. I got serious cabin-fever.The hospital was so short-staffed, the midwifes kept on forgetting to give me my medication, which pissed me off.
We were finally allowed home on Wednesday and I was ECSTATIC! The jaundice has pretty much gone now as well, yipppeeeeeeeeeee!
2. Feeding. Oh My God. This has caused me the biggest stress of all. I never thought it would. I planned on breastfeeding all throughout my pregnancy, and as my breasts started leaking around week 20 I assumed I would have no problems. William was latched on to my breast an hour after delivery and everything seemed easy! But after that he wasn’t interested in feeding at all-I think because the jaundice kicked in (it makes babies sleepy and not hungry). I tried to feed him a couple of times but he wouldn’t really latch on. The big problem is that I have very flat nipples. There’s nothing to latch onto really! I never even thought this would be a problem! Because of the jaundice, William HAD to eat every 3 hours so I ended up expressing milk using the hospital pump, giving that to him in a bottle and then topping him up with formula milk. I never thought I’d have to do that. I wasn’t anti-formula but I thought I’d just exclusively breastfeed for 6 months! Funny how things can change….in between, various midwifes tried to get him to latch on, without success.
Anyway..this carried on til discharge and then at home I managed to get him breastfeeding using a nipple shield. It seems to be working ok-I have a LOT of milk-but I’d obviously prefer him to be latching on by himself. I do try and latch him on before each feed WITHOUT the shield, and we’ve been close a couple of times, but it’s still much easier with the shield. Over the weekend I got v.depressed about feeding. Because:
1. I felt like a bit of a failure because I can’t get him to latch directly on the breast;
2 A stupid midwife practically told me off for using a nipple shield, saying it would slow his weight gain;
3. I know a nipple shield can decrease milk supply, so I fretted about my supply drying up, is he getting enough milk, etc etc…….
But what’s the alternative?!
On Monday I felt a lot better because a different midwife weighed him and he’s gained 4oz since leaving hospital. She said it wouldn’t matter if I kept on using the nipple shield forever, as long as he’s gaining weight! Very reassuring. I still have a ZILLION worries about feeding though. Yesterday I expressed milk (keeping the supply nice and healthy!) and then Mike gave it to William in a bottle. Of course, a bottle is another ‘teat’ for William to get used to but I just wanted to give my boobs a rest-they were so sore. He can feed for anything up to 1 and a half hours from my boob at one sitting! 
And last night…oh God. I started feeding at 11pm and he was still going at 1.30am. I felt like I’d given everything I could from my boobs and my nipples were in agony. So I cracked. We gave him formula. I felt so guilty (WHY though?! It’s not the devil’s food….). He drank too much and was sick, but then he slept for 4 hours straight and I got some well-needed sleep! Still feel guilty today. I think I’m going to breastfeed in the day and give maybe one bottle of formula at night, depending on his needs.
I KNOW that breast is best, blah blah blah but I don’t like this make-you-feel-guilty attitude if you so much as consider formula. The hospital was SMOTHERED in pro-breast-feeding posters. I was mostly formula fed, as was Mike, and we are 2 very healthy, bright people. Breast feeding is HARD WORK and I’ve got to be honest, I don’t enjoy feeding times that much at the mo! 
I’m sure things will get easier and we’ll get into a routine. William is happy, contented and gaining weight and that’s the main thing.
Yikes! Little guy is waking up. Be back later people!
lots of love happycookie and William xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS I know people have very strong opinions on breast versus bottle but no judgemental notes, please!! Vulnerable new-mother alert!!!!
Hi, random noter here. I just noticed this on the OD front page. That midwife was stupid to make you feel guilty. You’ve got enough to contend with without adding guilt on to the pile! You’re doing fine and so is your baby. That’s all that matters. Good luck! <{:0)
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I think it is ridiculous how a lot of new moms now a days are holier than thou and look down on those who can’t breast feed. I don’t think you should feel guilty because you are doing everything you can to keep your baby healthy. Congrats, btw!
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I’m weaning Jake off breast now.. the last 30 hours he’s been on the bottle exclusively, and it’s the best I’ve felt in a long time. I found breastfeeding so stressful, and that can’t be good for either of us. If you do keep at the bf, don’t worry about coming off the shield – he’ll get annoyed with it and want the real thing eventually – it took Jacob a month but he got there. Unfortunatly..
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.. it was in vain as the bottle is his new best friend! It’s stressful isn’t it? I knew breastfeeding was hard, but never even questioned breastfeeding until 6 months.. I just assumed I’d do it! I’m sure William will thrive whatever you do *hugs* xxx
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you won’t get any judgemental comments from me! i’m terrified i won’t be able to breastfeed coz of what i call gumby boob syndrome! basically my left is 3 cup sizes smaller than my right… tmi i know! sorry! anyway don’t feel guilty… you need a break too! ***HUGE HUGZ*** for you all!
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random noter: you’re doing the absolute best things you can do with regard to feeding. you’re doing what you have to do to keep your baby healthy and happy. no matter how you do it (shield or no shield, breast or formula), your only job is to make sure he eats. breast is best, we know that and under ideal conditions every baby would be breastfed, but that’s not realistic. hang in there, it WILL get easier, honest promise!
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… and Congratulations on your new baby!!!
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I was breastfed (i dont think i was given much, if any formula) and the only noticable differance between me and my formula fed peers, that i can notice, is better teeth and bones (one of my friends broke his collar bone about three times, tripping over on grass and being tackled by kids 2 years younger than him.)
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Hun, dont you worry. Take no notice of that evil midwife, she’s just a moron and clearly in the wrong profession with poor communication skills like that. You are doing wonderfully. I am suprised at the magnitude of breast is best propaganda in hospitals etc today. Yes, breastfeeding is great but it is one of the most difficult things to do and it doesnt make you a bad mum if you have a couple ofproblems with it. Most women find it super stressful and super difficult (and if they say they dont they’re LYING). If Im lucky enough to ever have a child….Im bottle feeding him/her. I know that sounds odd when I do what I do…but life is different for women these days and formula is just as good as breast milk as the weeks go by. The only thing breast milk really has over bottle is that the first week or so, it has antibodies to help build up immunity and you’ve already been giving William that! Breast milk doesnt really lead to better bones and teeth like the above noter said. Bottle milk has the appropriate amount of calcium in it for bone and teeth development and by the time William will need bucket loads of calcium he’ll be on solids anyway. You’re doing so g
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you’re doing so great is what ^^^ that meant to say. *hugs* xxx
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The last thing you need is judgement! Breastfeeding IS hard work and I didn’t understand that fully until my daughter was born. I have (had) flat nipples too and had a hell of a time getting her latched, we used the nipple shield for the first month (it helped achieve our breastfeeding goals but it was sweet when I finally got her to wean off of it) and while its annoying (or it was to me) it might be a necessary evil for a while if you want to keep breastfeeding. If you stick with it, I can promise you it will get easier! (and your baby will change the shape of your nipples so the latch problems won’t last forever..)
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What helped me and my flat nipples the most was “breast shells” – they’re hard plastic that you wear all day and they *bring out* the nipple while at the same time giving your nipple room to breathe and not rub against clothes so it helped with my soreness too. But that helped my daughter latch when I would pull them off for her feeding, they’re cheap, painless and were really helpful for us. Goodluck!!! And try not to feel guilty about anything!!
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I’m going to nursing school right now and we learned that as long as the baby is getting at least 3-4 feddings of breast milk each day they get the same as an exclusively breast fed baby. Supplementing with formula is ok we just learned to try not to go to completely formula. And they will get the most benefits from it for the frist 6 months then you could stop completely.
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Honey, don’t feel guilty about anything. The shield or the formula. I had bfing problems with my daughter due to my milk supply (way too much!) and my nipples got too big and hard that she couldn’t latch on no matter WHAT I did. I ended up putting her on full formula. What I regret now is that I should have pumped and bottled, as it is still cheaper than formula. But I do not feel guilty about it
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and neither should you. As long as your baby is happy and gaining weight, it doesn’t matter how that happens, whether breast or formula. Honestly, I would have kicked that midwife in the teeth for making you feel guilty. It’s not her place to say how you feed your baby, as long as he’s getting fed. He seems to be growing wonderfully and that’s all that matters.
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Just be patient. It takes time. I had to use breast shells for a few weeks until my son changed the shape of my nipples. Now he just sort of sucks them into whatever shape he’s in the mood for. Breastfeeding is not easy. But it’s worth it. Keep at it. You can do it! Oh, and the midwife was wrong. Very wrong. What a horrible thing to do to you!
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the nipple shield was the only way I could breastfeed in the beginning at all..it made it where I could at least do it for the first 6 weeks. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. I have flat nipples, too. I think it had something to do with De’s mouth. He refused to open his mouth wide enough. Eventually the shield got him to latch on some of the time without it. But that thing made it where I could breastfeedhim at all. While it can be annoying dont feel guilt over it honey. & dont let anyonelse lay guilt trips on you. Do whats right for you & your baby. *HUGE HUGS* It will get easier, I promise. Whether that be formula feeding or breast. The pump & nipple shield were my best friends in the beginning. Eventually De liked the ease of the bottle. I felt guilty for so long & tore myself up about it. Dont tear yourself up. You’ll just get yourself upset & that will effect your milk supply even more. Do what you can because ANY breastmilk you can give the baby is good. Just dont tear at yourself if you have to give the baby formula. It would be great if all of us could do the natural ways. But not all of us can *HUGS*
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Totally understand how you feel about bfing. I never wanted to give formula but am having such a hard time w/ bfing. And even though I’m doing my best I still feel guilty when I have to give formula. Just do your best and thats all you can do. Maybe pumping and giving it to him in a bottle would work for you?
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youre doing wonderfully, as long as he is gaining weight, who cares what they say is best? He is getting some breast milk, so he got all of the colostrum. Dont stress too much, you are both new to this and will get a routine soon 🙂 Good luck!
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my sister used a sheild, and she had no problems with her baby gaining weight, in fact it was nicer because he nipples didnt get cracked and stuff so it took a bit of the stress of that off. my son was 100% formua..and he is 3 years old, the hight and weight of a 5 year old, and in the 4 year old class at school beucase he is ahead of the 3 year olds…formula wont hurt them!
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Don’t worry about anything. I started leaking at 25 weeks and figured I was good. Surprise, I had just enough to leak and that was it. I could not manage more than a half an oz at the most. It was a big let down for me. Any little bit is better than none, that’s what they told me. But I was told by the pediatrician to go ahead and stop trying or they would not release him from the hospital.Good luck!
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Just been catching up on your entries – William’s gorgeous! 36 hour labour though…wow – congratulations on doing all that naturally!!! I think the guilt trip over formula is so ridiculous. Breast feeding’s much harder than I ever thought it’d be too but it sounds like you’re doing really well so far. Hang in there but don’t let stupid midwives make you feel guilty for giving him formula too.
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Also have you tried the Avent Niplette or something similar? I haven’t tried it but it’s supposed to help draw out flat nipples before feeding (saw them in Mothercare yesterday when I was getting all the stuff for expressing).
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Glad to see you got so many supportive notes. RYN: I myself am not so happy with the comparison! LOL <{:0)
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