So I’m 27…..

Had a really lovely birthday yesterday. My lovely husband made the day really special. He bought croissants for breakfast and got me some fab presents…..Keane’s new album (LOVE them!), the new Marian Keyes hardback, and Nip/Tuck series 3 DVD boxset….I have a serious crush on Julian McMahon. YUMMY!!

Got lots of lovely cards and some cheques (much needed – so skint!) and mothercare vouchers, which I spent yesterday afternoon on a nappy disposal thing (£15 – half price!!!). Also got a first little teddy bear for our baby. It is absolutely GORGEOUS – so, so, soft, dressed in blue, with a little hat on. It makes me emotional just looking at it…..not exactly sure why!! I’m just a hormonal fruitloop…..

Mike made me lunch which we had in the garden in the sun, then I had a lovely lazy day talking to people on the phone before we went to dinner at an amazing restaraunt in Maidenhead – it’s called the Blue River cafe and it’s right on the river (as you would guess by the name…..) so we sat eating outside cos it was such a lovely evening. The food was luscious, and we chatted non-stop for 2 hours as the sun set on the river……it was idyllic.  Not like my boozy birthdays of previous years, when I’d start drinking at lunchtime and be hideously pissed by 8pm, but it was perfect.

Today I feel a bit thoughtful. I’ve been thinking ahead to what’s going to happen after the baby’s born, and financial issues. This is the plan at the moment….

1. Finish work 22/7/06.

2. Maternity leave starts 3/09/06. For 6 months, we’ll be fine for money, as I get a generous maternity pay from the school I teach at. But the pay will stop after 6 months. So that takes us up to March 2007…..

3. Mike earns a good salary, but it will NOT be enough to support both of us. I’m hopeless with money, and have racked up a lot of debt over the last 10 years. So I need an income. I’m not returning to school to teach – the cost of travel to London and childcare would probably cost more than what I’d earn!! My plan had been (and still is, I hope) to register as a childminder to start work in March 2007. If I look after 2 or 3 children, as well as my baby, in my home, we’ll be fine financially, and as a teacher, I obviously have lots of experience with kids, so I know I’d enjoy it.

Issues with this:

1. The whole process of registering as a childminder is taking a LONG time. You have to attend a childminding course, which is 5 sessions, 2 hours each. The next course will probably start in September which is THE MONTH I’M GIVING BIRTH!!!!! Not ideal…….will I be able to attend the course?! It’s in the evening I think, once a week, for 2 hours.

After that course, you have to register with OFSTED, which can take 3 months. I’m worried I’m not going to be able to get all of this done before March next year, especially as I’ll be a new mum with a tiny baby….

2. Obviously, looking after other people’s kids in my home, OFSTED will inspect our home to see if it’s safe etc. Our house is big, and I think it’s safe, BUT it’s not ours….it’s rented, and our lease is due to expire next April. The landlady has already said she wants to sell the house then, which will mean moving!!! Unless we can persuade her otherwise. Maybe we could buy it – but this is an expensive area. If we move, that will completely mess up my childminding plans…..

This didn’t really occur to me until today. A large part of me thinks that this is NOT worth worrying about, and that I don’t know how I’ll feel when I’ve had the baby – perhaps I’ll be gagging to go back to teaching, and could work in a local school. I’m definitely going to go back to teaching when our kid(s?) are older – it’s the perfect career for a mum and also I love it. 

But another part of me is very scared that March will roll around very, very quickly, I’ll have nothing sorted and we’ll be in serious financial problems……also I have a strong feeling that I’m going to find it very, very hard to leave my baby with strangers. I just know what I’m like. Which will rule out going back to teaching for a few years.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ok I’m not going to worry anymore. I haven’t even had the baby yet, for chrissakes. I’ll think about this more over the summer hols.

Hope everyone’s having a lovely lazy Sunday!

love happycookie and mini-cookie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx