e whore!

oh btw

guess i got my wish about looking for a fight.

to make things go faster, the following is a facebook message i sent to a friend about the whole thing. figured i’d put it here to.

i knew that mylove had been talking to her more. they play online games together, and she’s kinda dumb and he had been giving her advice about college, relationships, and sex. all of this i knew. but on the outside, like to a friend and i, he would belittle her and their conversations. but yes, he should have known i’d find out. the warning sign i should have paid closer attention to was the day we were moving. his family was here and we were all busting our butts to load the truck and his phone kept going off with texts. he’s normally not a big texter and if busy, will wait til later to check his phone. but he kept stopping to text her back. it was annoying the hell out of me and with everything going on, he would have told anyone else, "not right now, i’m busy." but he kept freaking texting her back. i should have known then that something inappropriate was going on, but with how crazy things were with moving, i kinda forgot about it later.

i really didn’t mean to snoop. i was just goofing around and looking at random stuff. when i came across their convo log, this was the very first line of the very first (most recent) convo – "btw you look amazing in those pics you took." if it had been anything that wasn’t a big deal, i would not have kept reading. but after that, i kept reading. and the more i read, the more upset i got. i just kept saying, "oh he is so dead! dead!"

he was complimenting her with words that should only be used on me. his awful explanation was that she was young and stupid and easily manipulated. he even had the audacity to compare it to looking at porn on the internet. i didn’t care that there was nothing emotional behind it. those compliments are mine. how dare he use them on someone else so he can see their boobs.

the thing i think that had me the most livid was when he offered up the pics from our adult friend finder profile. yes those are online, but they are suppose to be anonymous and otherwise, something just for the two of us. he even had the gull to tell her that he felt really special that she trusted him enough to show him those pics/videos and tell him such private things. all this while he’s completely breaking my trust. dead!

i know him and i know it was just a game. not like he has a crush on her or anything. but he waaay crossed over the line. and he’s not stupid. he knew i’d be pissed even if he didn’t think it was that big a deal. he even told her once, "[redgirl] uses my computer sometimes so make sure i message you first." ugh.

over all i think what made me the most disappointed was that i know those games all the sneaking around can be fun. but i thought both of us were passed this now. i’ve been so honest with him and pretty much up until now, he has with me too. this is not how someone who’s engaged acts. and its definitely not how a married man acts. i thought we had put all of these games in the past.

so he knows i’m mad. for the first day or 2, i didn’t even want him to see me naked or really even to kiss. not if he’s going to treat something so intimate so carelessly. but i freaking hate being mad at him. he’s gone all week. i only see him about 3 hours a day. and he’s my only live entertainment up here so it sucks to want to push him away while at the same time wanting to play with him, especially on the weekend.

i guess we’ll figure it out. its kinda nice not to be the one in the dog house for once. no, i didn’t send that stuff to her boyfriend. and danny should thank you for talking me down. he was upset i told you because he doesn’t want anyone thinking less of him. i told him he should have thought of that when he was showing her naked pics of me. so he can get over it.

i did find where that video of her is on his comp and deleted it. i also deleted our adult friend finder account. but i don’t know what to do about the trust issue. and i talked to him about it. do i forbid him from talking to her ever again? do i make him tell her what happened and how he basically threw her under the bus, calling her easily manipulated, to make himself look better? cause i’ve done both of those things before and i know they don’t work and just end up making me feel like crap for having to dictate his actions and monitor his behavior. i don’t want to have to do that anymore. or do i let them keep talking just as long as he knows what is and isn’t allowed? he knows i’m not stupid and just as good as him at finding out. blah. the whole thing makes me angry all over again every time i think about it.

any ideas on ways to make him grovel or things he would do?