my rock

phew.

had more than alittle bit of a scare this week. i was five days late. and i’m never late.

of course the scare had mylove and i talking.

i know its a strange thing to do, but when we have that kinda of talk, it makes me fall in love with him even more. he just always knows exactly what to say to reassure me. and he’s just so sincere and matter-of-fact about it. its not some contemplated move just to make me feel better. its just genuinely how he feels.

i got really down on myself. i told him how disappointed i was in myself and how at this age, i shouldn’t still be worrying about this kind of thing. i mean, its one thing to be young and naive with the procedure* as an option. its just a lot harder to swallow when you’re a 24 year old college grad who’s self-sufficient with a stable job. the procedure* just doesn’t seem as justifiable of an option in this case.

so of course your mind starts thinking in the other what if direction.

and like any good boyfriend, mylove lets me do most of the talking. i can’t even really get his own opinion out of him. its completely about what i want and him supporting me.

so i asked him how he would feel if i was more than just late, would he be able to be excited about it.

"of course i’d be excited. i’d be a father. i’d be having a child. and itd be with you."

his response was so automatic and yet so genuine. he didn’t even realize how amazing what he said was to me. he just blurted out how he felt.

it sucks that it was because of a scare, but its just nice to know, ya know?

* out of difficulty in stomaching, let alone saying, the word abortion, i will always refer to it as something along the lines of "the procedure"

an even more difficult jupothimo
1 – i am a really good, fairly quick, judge or character
2 – (hopefully) my awkwardness and clumsiness is endearing
3 – i am living proof that sex is about quality over quantity (of partners)
4 – i have a good hip-to-waist size ratio
5 – not only can i always find the silver lining, but also humor, in any situation