grrrrrrrrrrrr

there’s this anger and this frustration inside of me and i can’t figure out where it’s coming from. it’s like there’s this part of me that’s waiting to pick a fight with somebody just to enjoy the battle. like i need to feel the satisfaction of tearing somebody apart. (intellectually speaking, of course. not physically.) and it has me being really mean and quick-tempered to all the wrong people. can’t blame it on pms either cause i’ve felt like this for a couple of weeks now. my passive aggressive nature that i can usually keep under control is rearing it’s ugly head without even being provoked. i don’t mean to sound like i’m bragging, but i am really good at making somebody feel like the stupidest person on the planet, at making them feel about 2 inches tall.

something’s wrong and i can’t figure out what. there’s nothing in my life that needs fixing. things aren’t any different than normal. and yet i can’t shake this violent streak inside me that has me gritting my teeth at nothing.

i hate not feeling like i’m in control of things. it makes me feel ashamed of myself.

it’s like… there are all of these injustices that keep popping up in my life. like i’ve been treated so unfairly. but if you asked me how, i wouldn’t have an answer for you.

no peace that passes understanding here.