very alanis of me

my life is full and rich and exciting. and i have been blessed to be a son of god so even when my life is busy because it’s hard, i’m looking up, i’m optimistic, and 3rd john 2 gets me through it. either way (or anyway), my life is definitely not boring and right now i’m revelling in the fact that with every item that gets added to my to-do list, every less dollar in my bank account, and every dissappointment that’s hurddled my way, i’m still happy. i’m figuring things out. and i’m so grateful to know that i’ve got friends and family behind me, and i’ve been given everything i could possibly need to get through anything thrown my way.

i’m sure i know exactly to whom to give the credit, but it seems that after every shit storm of drama, i have that moment to take a deep breath, recover, and be happy about where i am. now i’m not AT ALL saying that life is easy right now and i’m coasting. but the theme of my life lately has definitely been that god doesn’t give me anything i can’t handle.

it has been brought to my attention recently (much to my dismay by someone who hasn’t known me for very long despite our close friendship) has… well, called me on my bullshit. going along with my red hair, i place a lot of stock in being strong and independent (and stubborn and argumentative). but i really need to stop trying to constantly define myself and just enjoy the fight more. it’s pretty much already common knowledge that in one way or another my life is a complicated calamity here in athens. and at times, i’ve chosen to take my strength and independence and place them on top of a hosue of cards. but if i’m defining myself before everything is said and done, then i’m taking too big of a risk with basically my self-worth.

i guess since getting back to my old self, and getting a taste of that youthfully ignorant feeling of invincibility, i’m having my moment to sit back and reflect on how to stay here.

this is my last year here in athens. i’ve made some very dear friends. i’ve got a great apartment. i’m graduating with a bs and a ba. and i have enough memories to fill a lifetime. so i guess i just want to say thank you to a few people.

in no particular order and without any specific addresses –

thank you for always picking me up.
thank you for always giving in.
thank you for always listening.
thank you for always coming back.
thank you for understanding.
thank you for making me feel valuable.
thank you for making me feel beautiful.
thank you for making me feel comfortable in my own skin.
thank you for making me laugh.
thank you for making me do it on my own when i never imagined i could.