looking back

Do you want to know what I’ve just been doing? Re-reading old entries in this diary. Going right back to the begining when I went by the name Sebrof and was in first year at Uni. I knew what tone my diary would take when I started with the following sentance:
“OK so last week I had my jacket stolen.” The quote was added later.

But it’s been interesting. Have any of you actually tried this? It’s amazing how things change over time. Regular readers, moods, feelings, information offered. Names. I cannot even remember how this diary looked when I started it. My original colour scheme, etc. To prove this point, I am going to put a survey I put in as my second ever entry in this entry. Compare it with the survey I put in my last entry. Look at how much more open I am. This is something I am going to do over time. I am going to just look back once every so often. I don’t know if it will make me a better person or anything like that. And I know that you are not supposed to dwell on the past. But I think that it could be good. It may even be cathartic. It’s reasured me that the way I’m feeling right now is not new. I have felt like this before.

Here’s the survey:
NAME: Will

NICKNAME: too many to note

BIRTHDAY: 19/01/78

ZODIAC: capricorn

GRADE: 1st year at Uni

HEIGHT: 5’10’

SHOE SIZE: 7

HAIR COLOR: dark

EYE COLOR: greeny-blue with a hint of brown

SIBLINGS: 1 brother, 1 sister

LAST CD YOU BOUGHT: NIN The Fragile, I got Supernatural by Santana free

LAST MOVIE U SAW IN THE THEATER: Bringing out the Dead

LAST MOVIE YOU RENTED: Unsure

FAV. SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Can’t remember

LEAST FAV. SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Maths

DO U ACTUALLY LIKE MATH: See above

WHO ARE UR BEST GIRLFRIENDS: Lindzer, Julie

WHO ARE UR BEST GUY FRIENDS: Lewis, Marek

DO U HAVE A CRUSH: Yes

FAV. ACTRESS: Allyson Hannigan

FAV. ACTORS: Nic Cage, Jonny Depp

FAV. MOVIE: Can’t decide

FAV. TV SHOW: Buffy, Robot Wars, Trigger Happy TV

FAV.THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Relax

FAV. COLOR: Red

FAV. STORE: Retro Rebels

DO U DO ANY DRUGS: Nicotene, caffene, alcohol

HOW MAY PPL ARE ON UR BUDDY LIST: None

WHATS UR FAVORITE SPORT: football(soccer), ice hocky

ARE U ON ANY SPORTS TEAMS: No

HOW LONG ARE U IN THE SHOWER: about 15 minutes

WHATS UR FAV. PLACE TO GO ON VACATION: Thailand, 2 months, backpacking

DO U HAVE ANY PETS: 2 dogs and some fish

GUYS WITH OR WITHOUT HATS: no opinion

BEST # EVER: 13

FAV. DAY: Thursday

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: requited love

WORST FEELING EVER: heartache

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Yup

ABORTION: right to choose

TEENAGE SMOKING: Cannot comment

EATING DISORDER: No

STALKERS: Scary

ATHLETES: Unsure

GUY BANDS: Must DIE!!!!

DEATH: Fact of life. Face it

SCHOOL: so long ago

TITANIC: Celine Dion must DIE!!!

SUICIDE: Wimping out

SCHOOL VIOLENCE: Worse when kids on kids

SOUTH PARK: Kicks ass!

CHEATING: For if you at first you don’t succeed

PRE MARTIAL SEX: Yes please!

DO U HAVE A JOB: Unfortunatly, no

WHERE WILL U LIVE: whereever the work is

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK: No

ARE U ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING: pollen

DO U BELIEVE IN HEAVEN & HELL: possibly

DO U BELIEVE IN ANGELS: possibly

DO U BELIEVE IN ALIENS: Yes

DO U WANT TO GET MARRIED: Dunno

ARE U MAD AT ANY OF UR FRIENDS: yes

DO U HAVE ANY STUFFED AMINALS: No

DO U HAVE ANY BAD HABITS: Smoking, refusal to do research

WHATS UR FAV. RESTRAUNT: Mickey D’s

Will

Log in to write a note

It’s true. So much has happened since I began my diary and I haven’t even been writing a year yet. My OD “birthday” will be coming up soon and it still amazes me how much has happened … how naive I was in those beginning months. *sigh* “Evian is naive backwards” ~

oh but you are still as funny as ever!

September 25, 2001

I look at my first entry and just… ugh! I mean, I still wanted ANDREA!!! The thought of having her back now scares me

September 25, 2001

Isn’t it interesting re-reading old entries way back from the beginning… I like to see how my writing has developed, how’s it’s changed and how it’s stayed the same.

September 25, 2001

I often look back at old entries. It’s interesting to see the kinds of things I wrote and how I wrote when I didn’t have so large of an audience, and didn’t care so much about getting lots of notes and stuff. But dear God, how could you stand this survey?? “U” this and “PPL” that??!!! AAAAACCCCKKK!!!

September 26, 2001

I read through my first entries a few months back. It was weird because it felt like I had only written them the day before.

RYN: Yup, a red streak, and it doesn’t show all the time, just sometimes. Think I’ll get a blue blaze next. It’s all even more fun because I’m not even remotely punk-looking. Startles people. Which is good.

RYN again: m. getting drunk. a warning: if you want to enjoy getting drunk, stay the hell away from the neurochemistry of alcohol. it’ll take all the fun out of it forever. “WHAT?? LTP in the hippocampus goes down by 35% with a BAC of .05? OMIGOD!” Yeah. . . i’m not a dork or anything. . . m. (Hey, you’re a movie fella; seen Memento yet? Or The Princess and the Warrior, by the Lola Rennt dude?)